I have always fought my family and friends when they called me a crybaby or waterbag but I have come to realize that I REALLY AM. And I am noticing that as I get older the more I am shedding tears for the simpliest things. The other day my sister (Bridget) sent me a normal forward that I am certain was sent to her. In the text it said that, "if she were to leave this earth today and maybe you didn't know it but I love you and you mean so much to me." It wasn't the wording in general but the fact that I had never thought of something happening to her. I know that she loves me and for the first time I thought about life without her and was moved to tears. She and I have been together since as long as I can remember and to think about life without her hurt me. I had to text her back and tell her not to send me anything sappy again. This caused me to think of my other sister (Lavett) and at that point the water works had been activated. I mean, we don't all spend enough time together like we use to but to know that they are no longer a phone call away really took a toll on me.
From that point on I thought of my friend Tange and Brandi (my roommates from college and ultimate best friends, especially Tange) and even of some close friends that I have now and I couldn't stop the tears. Today I was reading the blog of my sister and saw some wedding photos that I didn't even attend. Who was crying was ME? I was getting on my own nerve. Then I keep telling myself...ok you just completed your female monthly so maybe that is where the tears are coming from but that was last Saturday when that was over. DeMarco and I were together one day and there was something that took place with a stranger, I can't quite remember the details but I do know that I was in tears in the end and Dee was like, "Seriously, you are not over there crying?" I mean it was nothing and I knew that I was being ridiculous for crying but it was nothing that I could do about it.
I tell myself that God just gave me a big ol' heart that is filled with so much, love and compassion and empathy for human kind. This world has become so mean and cruel to each other that I see the better parts of people and some things touch me to tears. Either that or I need shrink. I'm thankful for the passion that he gave me but if I could just stop the tears.
And off the subject:
On my trip to go see Tange, we were sitting around and in her common nosey-ness she found a gray hair in my head and without warning pulled it out. I said NO, because my mother told me if you pull it 5 more will come to its funeral. Well thanks a lot Tange I have several grays now. I think that one that you pulled was the levee for the tears that I had stored up, because since I left I have been a basketcase.
NOW BACK TO OUR SCHEDULED BLOG...
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Hump Day
4. A passionate spirit
3. Tears of joy
2. Reminscing
1. Being in my own skin
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