Its that time of year again where the holiday spirit is starting to take shape. Turkeys, shades of orange, green and red, and holiday music playing in all the stores. I love this part of the year but for some reason I am just not feeling it this year. I am looking forward to indulging in the food and family but just the hustle and bustle of it all has me in the dumps. Maybe because I am broke this year. I have so much that is going on this holiday season and the only thing that I can think about is waking up Christmas morning in my new home. My girls are looking forward to the season and I am looking forward to seeing their little faces as well. I just hope that it is all under my own roof.
So now that I am living with my mother for the time being I know that I will be up just as long as she is, cooking. I wanted to make my little dish and contribute to the Thanksgiving feast but it looks as if I'll be in there elbow deep tomorrow night. I know that I need to get in the rhythm of doing that anyways because I need to start cooking for my own family for the holidays but DANGIT, I AIN'T FEELING IT THIS YEAR.
I must say that I have so much to be thankful for and I try to hold on to that feeling, but when I think of all the work that is involves, I just think about pulling the covers over my head until someone screams for me to come and eat. I am assuming that the pressures of the house and being exhaustingly (not sure if that is a word or not, but it is perfect for this situation)ready to move have finally taken its toll on me. But in the meantime I will grin and bear it. Happy Thanksgiving!
My 5 most Euphoric things today:
5. One more day of work
4. Gumbo for dinner
3. Thanksgiving dinner
2. Baking a cake for the office, even if half the people here don't like me
1. Preparing to close on my home (keep us in your prayers)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
It's Been a Minute
WOW! I'm back...sorry for the 6 month hiatus I took but life happened. What a roller coaster ride I have been on for that time. Not to mention that I forgot my password to log in and then lost my internet access at work and at home. But nevertheless I got it all worked out and I am starting my blog back up.
So much has happened and I have so much that I want to get out. So much that I want to share and other things that I hope no one ecer finds out about. Well, my husband and I shared 5 years of marriage back on June 3rd. Spent some time with the girls in July before the returned to school. Went to a training for my job a month in August, celebrated Brooklyn's 5th birthday in September and spent 6 days in the hospital in October. I did mention that life has been a roller coaster ride, right?
The completion and closing of the house that we have been wrapped up in was postponed a 3rd time to November, so hopefully by the end of the month I will be blogging from my own home. But I must say that I have had some humbling experiences during this waiting period. Brooklyn graduated for Pre-K and was the mistress of ceremonies at her graduation and Gabrielle was crowned defensive player of the year for her basketball team. I must say that I am a proud mommy. Then lupus rared its ugly head and caused me a 5 day six night stay and the luxurious UT Southwestern Medical Center. I have learned that if I want to keep being a proud mommy, wife and soon to be home owner, I am going to have to take those lupus warnings a little more serious and get to the doctor a little sooner.
I've gained some pride in myself and decided that this life is worth living and I have started to live it a little more liberatingly (I know spellcheck is going to eat me up for that one). I cherish the good times more now and I try not to dwell on the bad ones for so long. I have learned to control my emotions a little more since I have been sharing a domain with my parents and learned that I actually can control my temper. My husband and I have a better relationship throughout this experience as well. I sure hope it stays that way because I have gotten use to settling differences a little different since we have an audience now. But through it all I have gained confidence in myself and my willingness to get things done no matter what.
Thanking God is a daily activity and being a smiling face to people that don't really care for me has been a goal as well. Nothing like a great, "Good morning, how are you today?", with a smile big as the sun to start someones day. And the reactions that I have been getting from these people is amazing. Some mornings they return the gesture with a less than friendly smile if they speak at all. But I don't care anymore. I've learned that no matter what you do, everyone is not going to like you and that I have to stop calling everyone my friend. But that it just me, "Friendly Fannie." But to God be the glory for all this that I have, which is sometimes nothing at all.
MY 5 MOST EUPHORIC THINGS TODAY:
5. The month of November, October was a mess
4. The fall, I'm loving the color splash God's creating
3. Health and strength
2. Time
1. Reflection
So much has happened and I have so much that I want to get out. So much that I want to share and other things that I hope no one ecer finds out about. Well, my husband and I shared 5 years of marriage back on June 3rd. Spent some time with the girls in July before the returned to school. Went to a training for my job a month in August, celebrated Brooklyn's 5th birthday in September and spent 6 days in the hospital in October. I did mention that life has been a roller coaster ride, right?
The completion and closing of the house that we have been wrapped up in was postponed a 3rd time to November, so hopefully by the end of the month I will be blogging from my own home. But I must say that I have had some humbling experiences during this waiting period. Brooklyn graduated for Pre-K and was the mistress of ceremonies at her graduation and Gabrielle was crowned defensive player of the year for her basketball team. I must say that I am a proud mommy. Then lupus rared its ugly head and caused me a 5 day six night stay and the luxurious UT Southwestern Medical Center. I have learned that if I want to keep being a proud mommy, wife and soon to be home owner, I am going to have to take those lupus warnings a little more serious and get to the doctor a little sooner.
I've gained some pride in myself and decided that this life is worth living and I have started to live it a little more liberatingly (I know spellcheck is going to eat me up for that one). I cherish the good times more now and I try not to dwell on the bad ones for so long. I have learned to control my emotions a little more since I have been sharing a domain with my parents and learned that I actually can control my temper. My husband and I have a better relationship throughout this experience as well. I sure hope it stays that way because I have gotten use to settling differences a little different since we have an audience now. But through it all I have gained confidence in myself and my willingness to get things done no matter what.
Thanking God is a daily activity and being a smiling face to people that don't really care for me has been a goal as well. Nothing like a great, "Good morning, how are you today?", with a smile big as the sun to start someones day. And the reactions that I have been getting from these people is amazing. Some mornings they return the gesture with a less than friendly smile if they speak at all. But I don't care anymore. I've learned that no matter what you do, everyone is not going to like you and that I have to stop calling everyone my friend. But that it just me, "Friendly Fannie." But to God be the glory for all this that I have, which is sometimes nothing at all.
MY 5 MOST EUPHORIC THINGS TODAY:
5. The month of November, October was a mess
4. The fall, I'm loving the color splash God's creating
3. Health and strength
2. Time
1. Reflection
Friday, May 20, 2011
Dreams
Here lately I have been having the weirdest dreams and the funny thing about it is I can remember them when I wake up. Every aspect of the dream seems to be embedded into my memory. I have started to investigate what it is that my dreams are trying to tell me and was amazed when I started getting into the meaning of my dreams.
On Wednesday night I dreamed that I was in my Mom's neighborhood but at the end of her street was a drop off, a cliff, is what I kept saying in my dream. It was me and my husband and my brother, Sam and for some reason they wanted me to get something out the alley and I was going to have to go along the cliff's edge to get it. It was really cold outside and it was ice all over the ground especially around the edge of the cliff and like a fool I went around the corner in my snow boots and was hanging on to dear life as I was sliding to the edge of the cliff. Needless to say I fell off the edge into a lake below. I was fine but my back hurt from hitting the water so hard. I checked the meaning of a cliff and this is what I found:
On Wednesday night I dreamed that I was in my Mom's neighborhood but at the end of her street was a drop off, a cliff, is what I kept saying in my dream. It was me and my husband and my brother, Sam and for some reason they wanted me to get something out the alley and I was going to have to go along the cliff's edge to get it. It was really cold outside and it was ice all over the ground especially around the edge of the cliff and like a fool I went around the corner in my snow boots and was hanging on to dear life as I was sliding to the edge of the cliff. Needless to say I fell off the edge into a lake below. I was fine but my back hurt from hitting the water so hard. I checked the meaning of a cliff and this is what I found:
To dream that you or someone falls off a cliff, suggests that you are going through a difficult time and are afraid of what is ahead for you. You fear that you may not be up for the challenge or that you cannot meet the expectations of others.
Then on last night I dreamed that my other brother and I, Keith. were in this strange Alice in Wonderland type land and we were walking around this really plush looking type grass and I could see the head of a really big snake and noticed that Keith was walking on the back of the snake. I guess he had finally broke the skin on the back of the snake because he had on spiked sneakers you could see the meat of the snakes back start to expose. I alerted Keith to what he was doing and by that time the snake started to emerge from its plain sight hiding place and started chasing me. He was so angry and it was either a anaconda or a really big boa constrictor. So I looked up the meaning of snakes and anaconda's and this is what I found:
Anaconda
To see an anaconda in your dream, symbolizes your creativity and potential. This snakes also calls attention to your sexuality and your need to be more in tune with your own sexuality.
To see an anaconda in your dream, symbolizes your creativity and potential. This snakes also calls attention to your sexuality and your need to be more in tune with your own sexuality.
Boa Constrictors
To see a boa constrictor in your dream, suggests that you are feeling suffocated or restricted in some personal relationship. Alternatively, it represents repressed sexual urges or hidden enjoyment of sex
To see a boa constrictor in your dream, suggests that you are feeling suffocated or restricted in some personal relationship. Alternatively, it represents repressed sexual urges or hidden enjoyment of sex
Snake
To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality.
To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality.
These interpretations were a spot on,especially the one about the cliff. I am still struggling with the one about the snake and then I wondered if the characters in my dreams made a difference. I guess all it is really saying is that I have a lot of crap on my mind.
Sweet dreams...
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Friday
4. More storms headed my way
3. Crawfish tomorrow
2. Sanity (don't know how long I'll keep that)
1. My niece Kyndal graduating from high school tomorrow (#proudauntie)
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Cry Baby
I have always fought my family and friends when they called me a crybaby or waterbag but I have come to realize that I REALLY AM. And I am noticing that as I get older the more I am shedding tears for the simpliest things. The other day my sister (Bridget) sent me a normal forward that I am certain was sent to her. In the text it said that, "if she were to leave this earth today and maybe you didn't know it but I love you and you mean so much to me." It wasn't the wording in general but the fact that I had never thought of something happening to her. I know that she loves me and for the first time I thought about life without her and was moved to tears. She and I have been together since as long as I can remember and to think about life without her hurt me. I had to text her back and tell her not to send me anything sappy again. This caused me to think of my other sister (Lavett) and at that point the water works had been activated. I mean, we don't all spend enough time together like we use to but to know that they are no longer a phone call away really took a toll on me.
From that point on I thought of my friend Tange and Brandi (my roommates from college and ultimate best friends, especially Tange) and even of some close friends that I have now and I couldn't stop the tears. Today I was reading the blog of my sister and saw some wedding photos that I didn't even attend. Who was crying was ME? I was getting on my own nerve. Then I keep telling myself...ok you just completed your female monthly so maybe that is where the tears are coming from but that was last Saturday when that was over. DeMarco and I were together one day and there was something that took place with a stranger, I can't quite remember the details but I do know that I was in tears in the end and Dee was like, "Seriously, you are not over there crying?" I mean it was nothing and I knew that I was being ridiculous for crying but it was nothing that I could do about it.
I tell myself that God just gave me a big ol' heart that is filled with so much, love and compassion and empathy for human kind. This world has become so mean and cruel to each other that I see the better parts of people and some things touch me to tears. Either that or I need shrink. I'm thankful for the passion that he gave me but if I could just stop the tears.
And off the subject:
On my trip to go see Tange, we were sitting around and in her common nosey-ness she found a gray hair in my head and without warning pulled it out. I said NO, because my mother told me if you pull it 5 more will come to its funeral. Well thanks a lot Tange I have several grays now. I think that one that you pulled was the levee for the tears that I had stored up, because since I left I have been a basketcase.
NOW BACK TO OUR SCHEDULED BLOG...
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Hump Day
4. A passionate spirit
3. Tears of joy
2. Reminscing
1. Being in my own skin
From that point on I thought of my friend Tange and Brandi (my roommates from college and ultimate best friends, especially Tange) and even of some close friends that I have now and I couldn't stop the tears. Today I was reading the blog of my sister and saw some wedding photos that I didn't even attend. Who was crying was ME? I was getting on my own nerve. Then I keep telling myself...ok you just completed your female monthly so maybe that is where the tears are coming from but that was last Saturday when that was over. DeMarco and I were together one day and there was something that took place with a stranger, I can't quite remember the details but I do know that I was in tears in the end and Dee was like, "Seriously, you are not over there crying?" I mean it was nothing and I knew that I was being ridiculous for crying but it was nothing that I could do about it.
I tell myself that God just gave me a big ol' heart that is filled with so much, love and compassion and empathy for human kind. This world has become so mean and cruel to each other that I see the better parts of people and some things touch me to tears. Either that or I need shrink. I'm thankful for the passion that he gave me but if I could just stop the tears.
And off the subject:
On my trip to go see Tange, we were sitting around and in her common nosey-ness she found a gray hair in my head and without warning pulled it out. I said NO, because my mother told me if you pull it 5 more will come to its funeral. Well thanks a lot Tange I have several grays now. I think that one that you pulled was the levee for the tears that I had stored up, because since I left I have been a basketcase.
NOW BACK TO OUR SCHEDULED BLOG...
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Hump Day
4. A passionate spirit
3. Tears of joy
2. Reminscing
1. Being in my own skin
Letting Go
We as women are always faced with decisions of whether to be submissive or take control. Most women that I know take control because we are those type of women. I hate to see my husband in compromising positions so I try to take control to help out. I am often charged with stepping over my boundaries but sometimes I see no other way. In my vows on my wedding day there was no mention of "obedience." I haven't ever been the submissive type. But I know that in some areas I know that I have to be...I dare to say the word...submissive, but in order for this thing to work, I have to bite the bullet.
I know that in my marriage my husband may have many complaints but depending on me is not one of them. I have always been superwoman. There to save the day when all other options have been exhausted. But at this point in my marriage and in life in general I am ready to retire from the "take charge" position that I have taken from my husband and I am letting go. This is the hardest thing that I have ever done and I am ready to release this position to him. Am I worried? HELL YEAH!! Will it be a gradual switch? Of course. Will I still have a say? Without a doubt.
My husband seems to think that I have been in control for too long and that I just won't let him be the man in this relationship. Well as of right now I am relinquishing my rights and handing them over to him. I expect business to move as though there was no change and in my unconscious efforts, I will still be in the shadows of my good man in the event that he stumbles. With the grace of God this transition should go off without a hitch.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Jazmin Sullivan station on Pandora
4. Not many clients today
3. Making it to the middle of May
2. DeMarco's smile when I brought him lunch
1. Letting go
I know that in my marriage my husband may have many complaints but depending on me is not one of them. I have always been superwoman. There to save the day when all other options have been exhausted. But at this point in my marriage and in life in general I am ready to retire from the "take charge" position that I have taken from my husband and I am letting go. This is the hardest thing that I have ever done and I am ready to release this position to him. Am I worried? HELL YEAH!! Will it be a gradual switch? Of course. Will I still have a say? Without a doubt.
My husband seems to think that I have been in control for too long and that I just won't let him be the man in this relationship. Well as of right now I am relinquishing my rights and handing them over to him. I expect business to move as though there was no change and in my unconscious efforts, I will still be in the shadows of my good man in the event that he stumbles. With the grace of God this transition should go off without a hitch.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Jazmin Sullivan station on Pandora
4. Not many clients today
3. Making it to the middle of May
2. DeMarco's smile when I brought him lunch
1. Letting go
Monday, May 16, 2011
Spring Showers
Well today has been the second day for the torrential downpour that we have been receiving here in Dallas
Work seems to be torture during rainy days. I have no windows in my office but I can hear it tap dancing on the roof, which makes it hard to bear. I just want to run out there and dance in it. Maybe baptize myself all over again. But it'll be my luck that I take a running start and slip and fall in a puddle that’s filled with rain water and motor oil. Sometimes I can find humor in my own clumsiness. I love this time of the year its almost as euphoric as the Indian summers.
I love to take time out and see the small things that make this life all worth it. I enjoyed the rain, picked up my entire family and made it home safely without one person sliding into me or me into them. Nothing breath taking really happened today but the rain was a welcoming sight to this old dry land. I mean that literally and physically.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Lunch for cheap
4. A wet Wednesday
3. Gabrielle's recital this evening
2. Friday Eve
1. The tap dancing rain
Work seems to be torture during rainy days. I have no windows in my office but I can hear it tap dancing on the roof, which makes it hard to bear. I just want to run out there and dance in it. Maybe baptize myself all over again. But it'll be my luck that I take a running start and slip and fall in a puddle that’s filled with rain water and motor oil. Sometimes I can find humor in my own clumsiness. I love this time of the year its almost as euphoric as the Indian summers.
I love to take time out and see the small things that make this life all worth it. I enjoyed the rain, picked up my entire family and made it home safely without one person sliding into me or me into them. Nothing breath taking really happened today but the rain was a welcoming sight to this old dry land. I mean that literally and physically.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Lunch for cheap
4. A wet Wednesday
3. Gabrielle's recital this evening
2. Friday Eve
1. The tap dancing rain
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Foundation
Last night my husband and I went by the property where the home is being built that we are buying and saw that they have finally laid the foundation. We were elated to see that it was there. We had been anticipating it for a while and now it was there. The beginning of our new beginnings. We got out the car and did a walk through and tried to imagine where everything would be and the positioning of it all and for the life of us we couldn't tell how they were going to fit the house that we chose on that property. But yet it all stood under our feet with hope of becoming our domain. I walked around the stone and I laid my hands on the pavement, every piece of wood, piping and gravel that I could find. In my heart and in my head I wanted God to exist in the mere dirt of it all.
The foundation meant more to me than just the floor. To me it was a fresh start from a life that has had its share of loops and turns. That foundation to me meant the beginning of my new self, my new marriage and my reinvention of the Kings. The floor that would see and hear us grow together as a family. I thought of the winters that we will spend there and how the landscaping will look through the window covered in snow. I thought of the rainy days and how the rain will sound when it hits the roof and the windows. I prayed that the wood that was laying around would protect us from all evil that walked about. I prayed that the house would hold up to any storm and that my children would be safe here and that it would all come together in his name. I prayed like I was possessed because I had a visual of the future. I don't want anything to go wrong because with no walls at all it all ready feels like home. The smell of the construction in the air would be replaced with the scent of trees and flowers and I was getting excited. Marco and I took pictures next to slabs of wood that had our address on it and everything just seemed so right. Anyone driving past would know that we were moving there because we were snapping pictures like the paparotzzi.
I pray that all goes well with the home that we feel God led us to. My euphoric expectations are all coming together.
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Forfeited volleyball game (we won our 1st one, thanks for not showing up!)
4. Laughing with Marco (long thighs, you STUPID; inside joke LMAO!)
3. The Foundation
2. Our Foundation
1. Our soon to be new home
The foundation meant more to me than just the floor. To me it was a fresh start from a life that has had its share of loops and turns. That foundation to me meant the beginning of my new self, my new marriage and my reinvention of the Kings. The floor that would see and hear us grow together as a family. I thought of the winters that we will spend there and how the landscaping will look through the window covered in snow. I thought of the rainy days and how the rain will sound when it hits the roof and the windows. I prayed that the wood that was laying around would protect us from all evil that walked about. I prayed that the house would hold up to any storm and that my children would be safe here and that it would all come together in his name. I prayed like I was possessed because I had a visual of the future. I don't want anything to go wrong because with no walls at all it all ready feels like home. The smell of the construction in the air would be replaced with the scent of trees and flowers and I was getting excited. Marco and I took pictures next to slabs of wood that had our address on it and everything just seemed so right. Anyone driving past would know that we were moving there because we were snapping pictures like the paparotzzi.
I pray that all goes well with the home that we feel God led us to. My euphoric expectations are all coming together.
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Forfeited volleyball game (we won our 1st one, thanks for not showing up!)
4. Laughing with Marco (long thighs, you STUPID; inside joke LMAO!)
3. The Foundation
2. Our Foundation
1. Our soon to be new home
Mother's Day Anticipation
Today has been a plain and simple day. Nothing much to report. Which has been a far cry from my previous posts. I was sitting here at work thinking about the Mothers Day weekend that is coming up. My Mom had the prettiest tulips delivered to my job on yesterday. It was definitely a pleasant surprise. Anytime a woman receives flowers delivered to her job that is always an awesome feeling.
My mother reminded me of how special I really am to her. I needed that little boost of confidence and she is definitely one of the people that keeps me encouraged. I spent yesterday looking for a gift for her for Mother's Day. It seems like there is nothing out there that money can buy that will be good enough for her. But I found something that I know she really wanted and went and got it. It probably won't be better than what my brothers get her, but I know that at some point she did really want it. I love to buy my mother things. I like to show my appreciation for all the great things that she has done for me. There were times when she wore shoes that were so awfully wore out that she was nearly walking on the ground, just so that me and my brothers could have the things that we wanted and needed. In my adult age I want her to know that I witnessed the sacrifice and now I want to bless her.
So now I will prepare myself for the weekend that is upon me and take advantage of the time spent with my mother. I hope one day I can be as awesome as she is.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. The end of the work week
4. Tulips
3. Mothers Day anticipation
2. Gift of giving
1. Being able to give
My mother reminded me of how special I really am to her. I needed that little boost of confidence and she is definitely one of the people that keeps me encouraged. I spent yesterday looking for a gift for her for Mother's Day. It seems like there is nothing out there that money can buy that will be good enough for her. But I found something that I know she really wanted and went and got it. It probably won't be better than what my brothers get her, but I know that at some point she did really want it. I love to buy my mother things. I like to show my appreciation for all the great things that she has done for me. There were times when she wore shoes that were so awfully wore out that she was nearly walking on the ground, just so that me and my brothers could have the things that we wanted and needed. In my adult age I want her to know that I witnessed the sacrifice and now I want to bless her.
So now I will prepare myself for the weekend that is upon me and take advantage of the time spent with my mother. I hope one day I can be as awesome as she is.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. The end of the work week
4. Tulips
3. Mothers Day anticipation
2. Gift of giving
1. Being able to give
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Sacrifice...the difficulty therein
Today was a hard lesson learned about sacrificing, everyone is not cut out for it. Some people have a difficult time understanding that sacrifice is not an easy task by any means. If you are using the word sacrifice, 9 times out of 10 that means that something that you love is on the line. It is so hard to talk about this word without stepping on a few toes, but just call me the toe stepper on-er.
Most of my adult like I have had to sacrifice things that I love and have lost some friends in the sacrifice. Jesus sacrificed his whole life, so what makes MAN think that a sacrifice would be as simple as nothing. I learned that I have sacrificed so much that it is first mind now. I have sacrificed so much that I don't even remember what it is to live with whatever it is that I have sacrificed. I have sacrificed my health by forcing myself to keep going when by body is telling me no. I sacrifice time with my family by spending way too many hours at work, I sacrifice my income by getting the people I love the things that they want and need. I sacrifice my femininity to satisfy others needs. I have sacrificed a lot. I mean the list really does go on.
I get so angry with people who act like they stood on the cross for my sins and try to tell me that what I am doing is minor. I have been told that I chose this path and in a sense that is correct. My situation is because of decisions that I made but also because at that time there was no other way. I look back and wish that I would have made better decisions. I wish that I could change some things. But because of the sacrifices I made I am doing pretty good for a person that chose the path that I did. At one point in my life when I was really, REALLY down and depressed and in pain and crying and upset and thinking that God didn't even know that I existed I couldn't even fathom a silver lining. But because I opened my mind and got down on my knees that silver lining is in arms reach.
I have said all this because something was said to me that UPSET ME TO MY CORE! I don't regret the sacrifices that I am still making right at this very moment. Some of my most prized blessing came from some sacrifices that I made. Maybe you should try it sometimes, it really does pay off in the end.
I digress...
My 5 Most Euphoric things today:
5. Life
4. Health
3. Strength
2. Ability to maintain my composure
1. Sacrifice (its difficult, but it can be done)
Most of my adult like I have had to sacrifice things that I love and have lost some friends in the sacrifice. Jesus sacrificed his whole life, so what makes MAN think that a sacrifice would be as simple as nothing. I learned that I have sacrificed so much that it is first mind now. I have sacrificed so much that I don't even remember what it is to live with whatever it is that I have sacrificed. I have sacrificed my health by forcing myself to keep going when by body is telling me no. I sacrifice time with my family by spending way too many hours at work, I sacrifice my income by getting the people I love the things that they want and need. I sacrifice my femininity to satisfy others needs. I have sacrificed a lot. I mean the list really does go on.
I get so angry with people who act like they stood on the cross for my sins and try to tell me that what I am doing is minor. I have been told that I chose this path and in a sense that is correct. My situation is because of decisions that I made but also because at that time there was no other way. I look back and wish that I would have made better decisions. I wish that I could change some things. But because of the sacrifices I made I am doing pretty good for a person that chose the path that I did. At one point in my life when I was really, REALLY down and depressed and in pain and crying and upset and thinking that God didn't even know that I existed I couldn't even fathom a silver lining. But because I opened my mind and got down on my knees that silver lining is in arms reach.
I have said all this because something was said to me that UPSET ME TO MY CORE! I don't regret the sacrifices that I am still making right at this very moment. Some of my most prized blessing came from some sacrifices that I made. Maybe you should try it sometimes, it really does pay off in the end.
I digress...
My 5 Most Euphoric things today:
5. Life
4. Health
3. Strength
2. Ability to maintain my composure
1. Sacrifice (its difficult, but it can be done)
Friday, April 29, 2011
It started with a bird song...
I am so thankful that today is Friday. I have been waiting for this day since Monday. But in the hustle and bustle of it all I actually took the time Thursday morning to enjoy some of Gods work.
It all started as we were hurrying the children out the house so that we wouldn't be late. I was getting the car to bring it to the front of the house and on the electric wire in front of my car stood the brightest, most beautiful red robin I had ever saw. The sun shined so bright on her that she looked iridescent. She stood there right in front of me and sang her little heart out. Until yesterday it had been quite sometime since I saw a robin. And one that looked as bright as she did made my day. The way that she stood there with her chest out singing her song changed my entire outlook of the rest of the day. I had to slow down and take in this blessing that was before me. I guess wisdom does come with time. I have heard birds chirping time and time again but this particular bird actually had a melody to her and she stood their with her beak to the heavens blaring out the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. Even as I drove away, I let my window down so that I could hear her once more. She was singing loud and proud and I was enjoying every minute.
Sometimes life moves so fast that you just don't have the time to take to enjoy some of its simple pleasures. I had heard birds all my life, but until the red robin, never noticed how they worshipped God. I will carry that memory with me through the rest of my life. I thought that I was looking too far into this thing but you had to see the bird. It was almost unreal. I actually showed her to Marco to make sure that she was real. I have been asking myself what God wanted me to learn from that experience since it has been so dear to me. I don't know yet, but it is still very much a part of me forever.
The rest of my day just kinda went by smoothly. I was on cruise control for the most of the day and the thought of the Red Robin just gave me a since of comfort. So here I am thanking God for another great simple pleasure.
My 5 euphoric things today:
5. A beautiful morning
4. Sounds of the morning
3. Getting to work on time
2. Laughing at Rickey Smiley
1. The Red Robin
...and Happy Birthday to the best big brother in the world, I can't believe that you turned 40 today. I love you more than life. Happy Birthday Sam!!!
It all started as we were hurrying the children out the house so that we wouldn't be late. I was getting the car to bring it to the front of the house and on the electric wire in front of my car stood the brightest, most beautiful red robin I had ever saw. The sun shined so bright on her that she looked iridescent. She stood there right in front of me and sang her little heart out. Until yesterday it had been quite sometime since I saw a robin. And one that looked as bright as she did made my day. The way that she stood there with her chest out singing her song changed my entire outlook of the rest of the day. I had to slow down and take in this blessing that was before me. I guess wisdom does come with time. I have heard birds chirping time and time again but this particular bird actually had a melody to her and she stood their with her beak to the heavens blaring out the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. Even as I drove away, I let my window down so that I could hear her once more. She was singing loud and proud and I was enjoying every minute.
Sometimes life moves so fast that you just don't have the time to take to enjoy some of its simple pleasures. I had heard birds all my life, but until the red robin, never noticed how they worshipped God. I will carry that memory with me through the rest of my life. I thought that I was looking too far into this thing but you had to see the bird. It was almost unreal. I actually showed her to Marco to make sure that she was real. I have been asking myself what God wanted me to learn from that experience since it has been so dear to me. I don't know yet, but it is still very much a part of me forever.
The rest of my day just kinda went by smoothly. I was on cruise control for the most of the day and the thought of the Red Robin just gave me a since of comfort. So here I am thanking God for another great simple pleasure.
My 5 euphoric things today:
5. A beautiful morning
4. Sounds of the morning
3. Getting to work on time
2. Laughing at Rickey Smiley
1. The Red Robin
...and Happy Birthday to the best big brother in the world, I can't believe that you turned 40 today. I love you more than life. Happy Birthday Sam!!!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Hump Day
I must say that I am excited that it is Wednesday all ready. I am ready for this week to be over with. I had jury duty on Monday and didn't get chosen. But I was excited that I got to take an afternoon nap. God I miss those. There is nothing like a nap when the sun is still up. Knowing that everyone else is working had and I was working the same amount of hard on my nap and getting paid for it. Sometimes things just work out great.
Tuesday nothing really happened. Gizmo chewed off his splint again for the 2nd time and I was determined that I wasn't paying another dime to get it refitted. Marco and I went to the store and got all the things that the Vet used and now he is like new again. I know the Vet is gonna be suspicious because it isn't the one that she put on him, but dammit it is doing the same job that hers did. Maybe not as cute, but definitely as stable as hers. Just call me Virginia...VET MD!!!
Nothing wonderful has happened so far today. And I hope it stays that way. Uneventful means that I am not spending money or nothing is wrong. I like uneventful. But I was thinking last night, I don't want my life to become monotonous. I want a little pizazz in my life. All I do is work and go home. I don't have a life. I got involved in volleyball and that seems not enough. I'm not asking for something to be happening everyday just not the same old routine all the time. I have become the old lady in the shoe, except I only have 2 children. I need some ideas so that these gray hairs that I have can slow down some. I need to rediscover my youth.
Well, I'll look into something...something that makes me more vibrant. Until then I guess I'll continue to live in black and white.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Making it to Wednesday
4. Color yellow...I'm wearing it today and for some reason it has made my day a lot brighter.
3. Getting to work on time
2. Hot Pork Skins (I have to have them daily)\
1. The sun ( as much as I love the rain, 3 days in a row was enough for me.
Tuesday nothing really happened. Gizmo chewed off his splint again for the 2nd time and I was determined that I wasn't paying another dime to get it refitted. Marco and I went to the store and got all the things that the Vet used and now he is like new again. I know the Vet is gonna be suspicious because it isn't the one that she put on him, but dammit it is doing the same job that hers did. Maybe not as cute, but definitely as stable as hers. Just call me Virginia...VET MD!!!
Nothing wonderful has happened so far today. And I hope it stays that way. Uneventful means that I am not spending money or nothing is wrong. I like uneventful. But I was thinking last night, I don't want my life to become monotonous. I want a little pizazz in my life. All I do is work and go home. I don't have a life. I got involved in volleyball and that seems not enough. I'm not asking for something to be happening everyday just not the same old routine all the time. I have become the old lady in the shoe, except I only have 2 children. I need some ideas so that these gray hairs that I have can slow down some. I need to rediscover my youth.
Well, I'll look into something...something that makes me more vibrant. Until then I guess I'll continue to live in black and white.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Making it to Wednesday
4. Color yellow...I'm wearing it today and for some reason it has made my day a lot brighter.
3. Getting to work on time
2. Hot Pork Skins (I have to have them daily)\
1. The sun ( as much as I love the rain, 3 days in a row was enough for me.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
He Has Risen
Today marked the day that Jesus got up from the grave. What an awesome act that was for such a cruel world. So if he could get up for me after enduring all that he did, surely I could do the same for him this Easter Sunday. And I did, I got my girls all dressed up in their Easter Sunday ensemble and off we went to a church that was packed from wall to wall. I let nothing stop me this morning. Not the fact that I was almost an hour late, or that it took me another 20 minutes to find a parking spot that I had to create or the fact that I had to sit in the hallway and watch the service through the window. I let none of that deter me from my blessing this morning. I love it when I don't stress out and things seem to work themselves out. I really wanted my husband to join me today but I knew that he had prior engagements but my feelings were a little hurt that he didn't set a time window for "us". But I prayed for him as always and kept it moving.
Church was riveting!! I wanted to laugh, cry, scream, shout and just take out running. My spirit was so full today. I kind of had a mental breakdown this week so I needed to be there today at that time. I needed God to know that I was still allowing him to be in control. I needed him to know that even though the human in me had almost gotten the best of me I was hanging on to my "mustard seed." (thanks for the reminder Ashley, that made all the difference)I needed my soul to feel free today and to release all that I had bottled inside. I needed everything that I got today. It was as if I was spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I needed some uplifting. I needed to hear a word from God that my situation had not gotten off track I just needed to stop trying to conduct the train. I had been holding on to some things that I just needed to release and I did!!! I feel like I am 100 pounds lighter. A weight had been lifted and I know that it is up to me to keep the faith that it will stay lifted.
We ended this evening watch "The Passion of Christ". I still hurt as if it was my first time watching it. My sister cried and my niece had quite a few questions. I know that it was sort of touch and go to let the children watch but we did not want to candy coat what had really happened to Jesus. We wanted them to know that what he did wasn't easy by any standards. And as many times as I have watched this movie I hadn't even realised that even Jesus was second guessing the decisions that he was about to make. The kids were moved as were we. Even though sometimes they turned their heads they were interested in what had happened to Jesus.
I think that we dress up Easter so much that the children think that it is about new dresses and suites, new shoes, Easter baskets and dyed eggs, Easter egg hunts and bunny rabbits. I heard a lady say on the radio on the way to church that her church dresses down and there is no emphasis on bunnies or eggs or any of the frilly things. I thought that was a great idea, but society should have taught us that well before now. But be that as it may, its our jobs as parents to make sure that they know. And we did today. If our children didn't know before they know now the true meaning behind Easter.
I thank God for my family and the time spent with them. I thank you for enduring so much so that I can walk around whining over things that I have no control over. I thank you for the blood that was shed and I will teach it to my people so that they will know the true meaning of a hero. Thank you God for your son Jesus
Amen
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Easter dinner
4. The Passion of Christ
3. Family time
2. Funny family stories
1. The blood
Church was riveting!! I wanted to laugh, cry, scream, shout and just take out running. My spirit was so full today. I kind of had a mental breakdown this week so I needed to be there today at that time. I needed God to know that I was still allowing him to be in control. I needed him to know that even though the human in me had almost gotten the best of me I was hanging on to my "mustard seed." (thanks for the reminder Ashley, that made all the difference)I needed my soul to feel free today and to release all that I had bottled inside. I needed everything that I got today. It was as if I was spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I needed some uplifting. I needed to hear a word from God that my situation had not gotten off track I just needed to stop trying to conduct the train. I had been holding on to some things that I just needed to release and I did!!! I feel like I am 100 pounds lighter. A weight had been lifted and I know that it is up to me to keep the faith that it will stay lifted.
We ended this evening watch "The Passion of Christ". I still hurt as if it was my first time watching it. My sister cried and my niece had quite a few questions. I know that it was sort of touch and go to let the children watch but we did not want to candy coat what had really happened to Jesus. We wanted them to know that what he did wasn't easy by any standards. And as many times as I have watched this movie I hadn't even realised that even Jesus was second guessing the decisions that he was about to make. The kids were moved as were we. Even though sometimes they turned their heads they were interested in what had happened to Jesus.
I think that we dress up Easter so much that the children think that it is about new dresses and suites, new shoes, Easter baskets and dyed eggs, Easter egg hunts and bunny rabbits. I heard a lady say on the radio on the way to church that her church dresses down and there is no emphasis on bunnies or eggs or any of the frilly things. I thought that was a great idea, but society should have taught us that well before now. But be that as it may, its our jobs as parents to make sure that they know. And we did today. If our children didn't know before they know now the true meaning behind Easter.
I thank God for my family and the time spent with them. I thank you for enduring so much so that I can walk around whining over things that I have no control over. I thank you for the blood that was shed and I will teach it to my people so that they will know the true meaning of a hero. Thank you God for your son Jesus
Amen
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Easter dinner
4. The Passion of Christ
3. Family time
2. Funny family stories
1. The blood
3 Generations of me
On yesterday I spent the day with my legacy and my heritage. Well...my Mom and my 2 children. Just a girls day out with shopping and lunch. As I get older I realize how much I am valuing this time with my mother. When I was younger I thought that she was the meanest person in the world. Now, I enjoy her company so much its almost as if we are more friends than we are mother and daughter. I love the fact that she still loves me like I am 8 years old. She still fusses over me and wants me to have the world, only thing is I have to share her with my daughters. I love that she loves them with her everything and they return the favor, especially when she is giving them everything that they ask for.
It was great to spend the day with our 3 generations. The weather was perfect, we found great bargains and we did some things that brought back memories of spending time with my grandmother. When we left the shops we went grocery shopping so that we could begin out Easter meal. We bought the normal things that black families eat on holidays: greens, stuff for a dressing, a peach cobbler, candied yams and a ham. My children have never been exposed to having to pick greens, wash them and get them started and granny gave them a crash course. Of course Brooklyn had a million questions and she was so against getting her manicure dirty but stayed in the game. It made me remember those Saturdays with my grandmother, the trips to the market downtown (that I still love), picking greens and shelling peas. I still remember the smells of the vegetables and my grandmother giving me the 101 in vegetables picking and cleaning. I loved that time with her. Every time I go to the market it makes me think of her. The sounds, the rushing people, the squeezing, smelling and knocking on fruits and vegetables to try and tell the freshness. I was hoping that my children were making a photographic picture of this day because I sure was. I guess Brook will be one of those women that will complain about all the hard work but will still lend a whining hand. Gabrielle never turned a word. She jumped in with 2 feet and helped wherever granny would allow her to. I took a mental note and put it right up there with some of the great ones. And I know that my Mom was enjoying herself because she was all smiles. She has all her girls there in the kitchen, just like my grandmother use to. Not to mention we had some daiquiri's going too.
I think that time spent with my mother is always time well spent, She never stops teaching me and even when the lessons stop, I never stop learning from her. I can remember when Brooklyn asked me a few months ago why I was so mean. If that is the case then according to the history in my family. I am on the road to being as great a Mom as Dee Dee is to me. So, if you are as lucky as I am, spend some time with your generations and embrace the memories. I know that this life is short. I want to spend as much of it being a great, Mom, wife, sister, friend, cousin and definitely a great daughter.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Shopping
4. Great bargains
3. Broccoli and cheese soup
2. Time with my children
1. Time well spent with my #1 lady, my Mommy
It was great to spend the day with our 3 generations. The weather was perfect, we found great bargains and we did some things that brought back memories of spending time with my grandmother. When we left the shops we went grocery shopping so that we could begin out Easter meal. We bought the normal things that black families eat on holidays: greens, stuff for a dressing, a peach cobbler, candied yams and a ham. My children have never been exposed to having to pick greens, wash them and get them started and granny gave them a crash course. Of course Brooklyn had a million questions and she was so against getting her manicure dirty but stayed in the game. It made me remember those Saturdays with my grandmother, the trips to the market downtown (that I still love), picking greens and shelling peas. I still remember the smells of the vegetables and my grandmother giving me the 101 in vegetables picking and cleaning. I loved that time with her. Every time I go to the market it makes me think of her. The sounds, the rushing people, the squeezing, smelling and knocking on fruits and vegetables to try and tell the freshness. I was hoping that my children were making a photographic picture of this day because I sure was. I guess Brook will be one of those women that will complain about all the hard work but will still lend a whining hand. Gabrielle never turned a word. She jumped in with 2 feet and helped wherever granny would allow her to. I took a mental note and put it right up there with some of the great ones. And I know that my Mom was enjoying herself because she was all smiles. She has all her girls there in the kitchen, just like my grandmother use to. Not to mention we had some daiquiri's going too.
I think that time spent with my mother is always time well spent, She never stops teaching me and even when the lessons stop, I never stop learning from her. I can remember when Brooklyn asked me a few months ago why I was so mean. If that is the case then according to the history in my family. I am on the road to being as great a Mom as Dee Dee is to me. So, if you are as lucky as I am, spend some time with your generations and embrace the memories. I know that this life is short. I want to spend as much of it being a great, Mom, wife, sister, friend, cousin and definitely a great daughter.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Shopping
4. Great bargains
3. Broccoli and cheese soup
2. Time with my children
1. Time well spent with my #1 lady, my Mommy
Thursday, April 21, 2011
World of Wonder
Sometimes I have a head that won't stop thinking. Like now, I have a million thoughts in my head and I just don't know where to begin. Today is not a bad day, its just that I have so much on my mind. I had a weekend that some people dream of then Monday Madness came. I guess I needed the massage for what I was going to be up against. I just want to scream, but then I think about it and its not even worth the breath.
Nothing seems to be right with me. But then I think again. Life can't always be wonderful and "euphoric." But my God, why can't I have a bad day, not a horrible week. I want to not over think things but my mind is literally all over the place. The argument with my brother on Monday, the constant worry of if we are going to be ready when it is time to close on the new house, Mom's health, my marriage, my constant questioning of my sanity, oh yeah, might as well add Easter to my list. Between, relationships, finances and health, I don't know what to do. I've been trying to get past the argument with my brother but that has been with me since it took place on Monday. That was the first time that we have ever had words that harsh and I just don't want things to be that way between us. But I know that I wasn't wrong for standing up to him for what I felt was right.
I think that we are going to be ready when it comes to this new house, but I am obsessing with it. I want to make sure we have the money in the bank, the credit is right, debts are paid in full. I don't want anything to go wrong then so I am trying my best to make sure things are put together now. It is so much harder than it seems. Maybe I am just over doing it. I mean we have done what they have asked us to do. What else can we do?
My marriage has been in this euphoric place for more than a year now. I have had no complaints at all. But as a woman, you know when things are not what they seem. I really have no objections right now but I am noticing the little things that use to be, are coming about again. Nothing major just knowing my marriage and how it works and how he works. I know that there is something that ain't quite right. I hope that it is all just stress and I am looking to far into things. But my woman's intuition tells me to be warned. Maybe its nothing, but MAYBE its something. I mean we have too much going on right now. We're trying to do a lot right now. Surely, he wouldn't trip out right now. But if it comes that my intuition is true I will definitely go with a Plan B.
The wonderful world of wonder can go either way. Good or bad. Right now my Wonder World is kinda hanging in the middle. I will agree that I put myself in this maze of thoughts but for good reason, I don't want anything to interfere with my euphoric expectations. Just the thought of my goals not being reached upsets me. I have done a good job so far of being positive and expecting great things. But the human in me keeps overtaking the spirit in me. "Quiet down you mortal, let God work!!"
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Conversation with my favorite cousin. (she always makes my day a little brighter with laughter)
4. Gabrielle learning how to correctly spell the word "suspiciously"
3. The rain
2. A compliment from a co-worker
1. Friday Eve
Nothing seems to be right with me. But then I think again. Life can't always be wonderful and "euphoric." But my God, why can't I have a bad day, not a horrible week. I want to not over think things but my mind is literally all over the place. The argument with my brother on Monday, the constant worry of if we are going to be ready when it is time to close on the new house, Mom's health, my marriage, my constant questioning of my sanity, oh yeah, might as well add Easter to my list. Between, relationships, finances and health, I don't know what to do. I've been trying to get past the argument with my brother but that has been with me since it took place on Monday. That was the first time that we have ever had words that harsh and I just don't want things to be that way between us. But I know that I wasn't wrong for standing up to him for what I felt was right.
I think that we are going to be ready when it comes to this new house, but I am obsessing with it. I want to make sure we have the money in the bank, the credit is right, debts are paid in full. I don't want anything to go wrong then so I am trying my best to make sure things are put together now. It is so much harder than it seems. Maybe I am just over doing it. I mean we have done what they have asked us to do. What else can we do?
My marriage has been in this euphoric place for more than a year now. I have had no complaints at all. But as a woman, you know when things are not what they seem. I really have no objections right now but I am noticing the little things that use to be, are coming about again. Nothing major just knowing my marriage and how it works and how he works. I know that there is something that ain't quite right. I hope that it is all just stress and I am looking to far into things. But my woman's intuition tells me to be warned. Maybe its nothing, but MAYBE its something. I mean we have too much going on right now. We're trying to do a lot right now. Surely, he wouldn't trip out right now. But if it comes that my intuition is true I will definitely go with a Plan B.
The wonderful world of wonder can go either way. Good or bad. Right now my Wonder World is kinda hanging in the middle. I will agree that I put myself in this maze of thoughts but for good reason, I don't want anything to interfere with my euphoric expectations. Just the thought of my goals not being reached upsets me. I have done a good job so far of being positive and expecting great things. But the human in me keeps overtaking the spirit in me. "Quiet down you mortal, let God work!!"
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Conversation with my favorite cousin. (she always makes my day a little brighter with laughter)
4. Gabrielle learning how to correctly spell the word "suspiciously"
3. The rain
2. A compliment from a co-worker
1. Friday Eve
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
A Day Fit For A Queen
Today was an "out of this world" kind of day. There was nothing negative about this day. Slept late, got up showered, beautified and started my birthday off. I thought that I would take a little time to myself just to take in the number 32. So before leaving to go to the salon I took myself to lunch. This is the first time that I have ever taken myself out to eat. It felt funny but I was comfortable with just me. had a couple old men try and hit on me, made me blush. I ate a wonderful lunch and I thought about all the things that were going to be different this year. I was in such a euphoric atmosphere that I was worried. I wished that life could always have this high that I was on.
Left lunch and went to the salon, The Artistry Bar and guess what: She had no clients there before me or after me! That is so uncommon with Bridgett at 1:30 pm, on a Friday at that. She filled me with mimosa's and whipped this hair into shape. She gave me good feedback, so since I hadn't been coming to her I was doing a pretty good job of taking care of my hair myself. I was buzzed to say the least when I left there. I had a wonderful time with my stylist. I haven't been going to her that long but she and I just seem like old friends. Shes a beautiful person, I like her atmosphere and the special attention that she pays. But you pay a hefty price for it. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks Bridgett H.
Next, was the Riviera Spa for my full body massage and facial. Well this is where things started to get funny. They greeted me at the door with smiles and champagne. I was like this is MY BIRTHDAY and I am going to do it big. I went in, changed my clothes, wrapped up my hair, put on my big fluffy white robe and started knocking those glasses of champagne back like juice. When it was time for my massage I think I was nearing drunk, I had been drinking since 1:30, it was now 5:15. I lay on the massage table in all my glory and the lady begins the massage and all these crazy thoughts kept whipping through my head. Inside I'm telling myself just start thanking God for this opportunity that was given to you and I did. I laid there and prayed and thanked God for allowing me the ability to do this for myself. Some people have never experienced these things. I was grateful and I wanted to spend those 50 minutes telling God so but the alcohol started to creep up on my. The lady stretched my arms so that they would fall off the table. I thought that I could feel the carpet underneath by knuckles and I busted out in laughter. All I could think is, " I wonder do I look like a Silver Back to her." I laughed until I cried. I know that poor lady thought I was waisted. Then on to my facial where all the walls started to cave in on me. I guess all the champagne I had intensified my claustrophobia and my hottness. I was burning up and she had me under a blanket and heated towels and all. I did everything I could to contain myself but had she spent another minute rubbing my face and putting something hot on me I was gonna bust outta that blanket like the Incredible Hulk! Lord knows I love for Ann to do my face but her closeness and alcohol were a horrible mixture. I almost sweated out my wrap. Well once out, cooled and more maintained, I had another champagne to settle my nerves and met with my sister.
Final stop was this oh so,"Sex and the City" restaurant Fannie's for dinner. At this point I was drunk and Lavett said that dinner and drinks was on her. The food was melt in your mouth good and the Apple Martini put hair on my chest it was soooooo strong. She and I laughed at the daters and at my ignorance in general. The world was evolving around me, LITERALLY!!! We laughed the night away like old times. In my drunken stooper I was so grateful for the day. Everything that I asked for I received. I was surrounded by people that loved me and had a genuine love for me.
Not only was bringing in 32 hilarious it was all ready filled with all the hills and valleys that I will be facing. I just hope that I can drink and laugh through them like I did for my birthday. Thank you God for 32 years. What a masterpiece you created in me.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Opening my eyes to another year on earth
4. Gifts from my children
3. Spa Day (especially for me hair)
2. Drunken Laughter
1. My husband showering me with surprises
Left lunch and went to the salon, The Artistry Bar and guess what: She had no clients there before me or after me! That is so uncommon with Bridgett at 1:30 pm, on a Friday at that. She filled me with mimosa's and whipped this hair into shape. She gave me good feedback, so since I hadn't been coming to her I was doing a pretty good job of taking care of my hair myself. I was buzzed to say the least when I left there. I had a wonderful time with my stylist. I haven't been going to her that long but she and I just seem like old friends. Shes a beautiful person, I like her atmosphere and the special attention that she pays. But you pay a hefty price for it. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks Bridgett H.
Next, was the Riviera Spa for my full body massage and facial. Well this is where things started to get funny. They greeted me at the door with smiles and champagne. I was like this is MY BIRTHDAY and I am going to do it big. I went in, changed my clothes, wrapped up my hair, put on my big fluffy white robe and started knocking those glasses of champagne back like juice. When it was time for my massage I think I was nearing drunk, I had been drinking since 1:30, it was now 5:15. I lay on the massage table in all my glory and the lady begins the massage and all these crazy thoughts kept whipping through my head. Inside I'm telling myself just start thanking God for this opportunity that was given to you and I did. I laid there and prayed and thanked God for allowing me the ability to do this for myself. Some people have never experienced these things. I was grateful and I wanted to spend those 50 minutes telling God so but the alcohol started to creep up on my. The lady stretched my arms so that they would fall off the table. I thought that I could feel the carpet underneath by knuckles and I busted out in laughter. All I could think is, " I wonder do I look like a Silver Back to her." I laughed until I cried. I know that poor lady thought I was waisted. Then on to my facial where all the walls started to cave in on me. I guess all the champagne I had intensified my claustrophobia and my hottness. I was burning up and she had me under a blanket and heated towels and all. I did everything I could to contain myself but had she spent another minute rubbing my face and putting something hot on me I was gonna bust outta that blanket like the Incredible Hulk! Lord knows I love for Ann to do my face but her closeness and alcohol were a horrible mixture. I almost sweated out my wrap. Well once out, cooled and more maintained, I had another champagne to settle my nerves and met with my sister.
Final stop was this oh so,"Sex and the City" restaurant Fannie's for dinner. At this point I was drunk and Lavett said that dinner and drinks was on her. The food was melt in your mouth good and the Apple Martini put hair on my chest it was soooooo strong. She and I laughed at the daters and at my ignorance in general. The world was evolving around me, LITERALLY!!! We laughed the night away like old times. In my drunken stooper I was so grateful for the day. Everything that I asked for I received. I was surrounded by people that loved me and had a genuine love for me.
Not only was bringing in 32 hilarious it was all ready filled with all the hills and valleys that I will be facing. I just hope that I can drink and laugh through them like I did for my birthday. Thank you God for 32 years. What a masterpiece you created in me.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Opening my eyes to another year on earth
4. Gifts from my children
3. Spa Day (especially for me hair)
2. Drunken Laughter
1. My husband showering me with surprises
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Final Countdown
Today was the beginning of the relaxing weekend that I have planned. My mani/pedi was awesome. Cookie is my nail tech of choice and she hooked me up again. Once I hit up the salon for my hair and then the spa for my facial and massage, I am going to be a brand new person.
Well its official I am leaving 31 behind in less than 3 hours. It seems like yesterday I was turning 21 and I was thinking that was a milestone. I have tried to make a list of things that I want to do different at the age of 32.
1. I want to learn to not stress out
2. Enjoy the life that God has chosen for me.
3. Don't sweat the small stuff
4. If it can be fixed, fix it. If it can't LEAVE IT ALONE
5. Spend more time with my friends
6. Lose some weight
7. Travel more
8. Prepare myself for my new home
9. Find something that I am interested in
10. Domesticate myself
These are just a few of the things that I want to start doing at 32. The list really goes on but those are the most important at this time.
I've only been blogging a little while now and I can tell the difference in myself. I use to have so many problems in the skin that I am in and now I am coming to learn that you don't get a new YOU, you just have to fix the temple that was given to you. I didn't realize how much I am in love with myself until I turned 30. Everything that has happened to me was meant to happen and whatever the case may have been it made me stronger. I love this new outlook on life. Its fulfilling. Turning 32 can't be all that bad. I thought that I would hate to be in the 30's because that means that my youth was just about behind me. But its been the best time of my life. I have actually lived through putting those childish things behind me and creating a life that my children would be proud of. I am a soccer/cheerleading, PTA, Coach, coaches wife- Mom and I am pretty proud of it. I feel like this is my time. Like something great is about to take place. No more drama, no more problems (well at least for now).
With this I will say farewell to 31 and begin the advancement into mid 30's. I thank the Lord for these 32 years. I have some friends that didn't make it. I thank God for the mountains and the valleys. I can definitely look back on them and appreciate the bright future. Thank you Lord for 32 years on this earth and if you let me live to see more I promise to remove a new layer of me with every season. Your blessings have been bountiful, keep me healthy and safe to continue to live this life that you are preparing for me.
Amen
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Being off work
4. Purchasing a birthday outfit
3. Dinner being ready when my family walked through the door
2. A perfect French Manicure
1. A perfect French Pedicure
See you at the spa Lavett
Well its official I am leaving 31 behind in less than 3 hours. It seems like yesterday I was turning 21 and I was thinking that was a milestone. I have tried to make a list of things that I want to do different at the age of 32.
1. I want to learn to not stress out
2. Enjoy the life that God has chosen for me.
3. Don't sweat the small stuff
4. If it can be fixed, fix it. If it can't LEAVE IT ALONE
5. Spend more time with my friends
6. Lose some weight
7. Travel more
8. Prepare myself for my new home
9. Find something that I am interested in
10. Domesticate myself
These are just a few of the things that I want to start doing at 32. The list really goes on but those are the most important at this time.
I've only been blogging a little while now and I can tell the difference in myself. I use to have so many problems in the skin that I am in and now I am coming to learn that you don't get a new YOU, you just have to fix the temple that was given to you. I didn't realize how much I am in love with myself until I turned 30. Everything that has happened to me was meant to happen and whatever the case may have been it made me stronger. I love this new outlook on life. Its fulfilling. Turning 32 can't be all that bad. I thought that I would hate to be in the 30's because that means that my youth was just about behind me. But its been the best time of my life. I have actually lived through putting those childish things behind me and creating a life that my children would be proud of. I am a soccer/cheerleading, PTA, Coach, coaches wife- Mom and I am pretty proud of it. I feel like this is my time. Like something great is about to take place. No more drama, no more problems (well at least for now).
With this I will say farewell to 31 and begin the advancement into mid 30's. I thank the Lord for these 32 years. I have some friends that didn't make it. I thank God for the mountains and the valleys. I can definitely look back on them and appreciate the bright future. Thank you Lord for 32 years on this earth and if you let me live to see more I promise to remove a new layer of me with every season. Your blessings have been bountiful, keep me healthy and safe to continue to live this life that you are preparing for me.
Amen
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Being off work
4. Purchasing a birthday outfit
3. Dinner being ready when my family walked through the door
2. A perfect French Manicure
1. A perfect French Pedicure
See you at the spa Lavett
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sabotoge!
I had to ask myself, " was someone trying to sabotage my birthday week?" Its only Wednesday and I have had a migraine on Monday and found out Gizmo (my shih tzu) broke 3 of his 4 toes on Tuesday. I was scared to get out of the bed on Wednesday but I went ahead and took a chance. So far so good but its only 12:45 PM. But in the words of Nettie from Color Purple, "nothing will keep me from her", referencing my spa visit on Friday. I cannot wait!!!
My supervisors have been trying to entice me with this out of office meeting that we are having all day tomorrow at Celebration Station. I been trying to weigh my options: sleep in, get a mani/pedi, do a little shopping for a birthday outfit OR sit through office topics and then stop for a little arcade fun and go cart racing. I want to show my loyalty to the company, but I was looking forward to my time off. I have come to learn that my "ME" time is very important to me. It actually is making me a better me. NO KIDS, NO DEADLINES, NO HUSBAND, NO CLIENTS, NO NAGGING, NO BEGGING, NO ORDERS!!! I think that I need this time to me. I just wish that I had my old buddy here to spend that time with. Jesus, I need in town friends.
But anywho, its a countdown until the big day. FRIDAY, APRIL 15th is upon us. I have nothing planned but I plan on enjoying it. Nothing other than getting my hair done and my spa appointment. Now I need something to do if I plan to take my vacation tomorrow. I am such a lame-o. I might just lay at home with Gizmo and rub his foot until he says stop.
Yesterday I also had my second volleyball game and it was a much better week than last. This week I only hit 2 balls the wrong way. I served the ball and it actually went over the net and I also had a couple of hits and blocks. I was proud of myself because I actually moved out of one spot. The huddled roasters were dissolved and I actually got a few high fives. I was determined not to look as bad this week than last. Even though we lost again, we (I) played so much better. After the game my teammates were actually like, "good game Virginia, keep up the good work, those cob webs are almost gone." Last week I don't even think they knew what my name was. So I was happy to impress the team. Looking forward to another game next week and maybe even a win. Unfortunately, my "fairweather fans" that were in the stands only saw the hits that went behind me instead of in front of me. Gabrielle had the nerve to ask me, "Mama are you sure you want to play volleyball? You don't seem to be that good at it. Well, not like the other ladies." She was serious too and ended it with, "Lets look into some more sports that you might like that don't have a lot of running and jumping like.....(she thought for a minute)...maybe golf." I wanted to beat her up soooo bad. She was like I"m Just Saying all your balls went the wrong way! I'm glad my self esteem has gotten better and I noticed that she was preoccupied most of the game, otherwise I would have been ready to fight and 8 year old. I love her to death because she means it all in love. It was just the fact that she called me out on it. HEIFER!!! But thats ok, the tables will turn when her next sport of interest peaks.
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Work Optional for tomorrow
4. Pomegranate smoothie from Smoothie King
3. Small work load
2. Gabrielle's brutal honesty
1. A beautiful Wednesday
My supervisors have been trying to entice me with this out of office meeting that we are having all day tomorrow at Celebration Station. I been trying to weigh my options: sleep in, get a mani/pedi, do a little shopping for a birthday outfit OR sit through office topics and then stop for a little arcade fun and go cart racing. I want to show my loyalty to the company, but I was looking forward to my time off. I have come to learn that my "ME" time is very important to me. It actually is making me a better me. NO KIDS, NO DEADLINES, NO HUSBAND, NO CLIENTS, NO NAGGING, NO BEGGING, NO ORDERS!!! I think that I need this time to me. I just wish that I had my old buddy here to spend that time with. Jesus, I need in town friends.
But anywho, its a countdown until the big day. FRIDAY, APRIL 15th is upon us. I have nothing planned but I plan on enjoying it. Nothing other than getting my hair done and my spa appointment. Now I need something to do if I plan to take my vacation tomorrow. I am such a lame-o. I might just lay at home with Gizmo and rub his foot until he says stop.
Yesterday I also had my second volleyball game and it was a much better week than last. This week I only hit 2 balls the wrong way. I served the ball and it actually went over the net and I also had a couple of hits and blocks. I was proud of myself because I actually moved out of one spot. The huddled roasters were dissolved and I actually got a few high fives. I was determined not to look as bad this week than last. Even though we lost again, we (I) played so much better. After the game my teammates were actually like, "good game Virginia, keep up the good work, those cob webs are almost gone." Last week I don't even think they knew what my name was. So I was happy to impress the team. Looking forward to another game next week and maybe even a win. Unfortunately, my "fairweather fans" that were in the stands only saw the hits that went behind me instead of in front of me. Gabrielle had the nerve to ask me, "Mama are you sure you want to play volleyball? You don't seem to be that good at it. Well, not like the other ladies." She was serious too and ended it with, "Lets look into some more sports that you might like that don't have a lot of running and jumping like.....(she thought for a minute)...maybe golf." I wanted to beat her up soooo bad. She was like I"m Just Saying all your balls went the wrong way! I'm glad my self esteem has gotten better and I noticed that she was preoccupied most of the game, otherwise I would have been ready to fight and 8 year old. I love her to death because she means it all in love. It was just the fact that she called me out on it. HEIFER!!! But thats ok, the tables will turn when her next sport of interest peaks.
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Work Optional for tomorrow
4. Pomegranate smoothie from Smoothie King
3. Small work load
2. Gabrielle's brutal honesty
1. A beautiful Wednesday
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Migraine Monster
Today was the worst day in 2011. I haven't had a migraine headache since March 1999. I remember this because that was when my roommate had to rush me to the hospital (on the "conder"...inside joke)where I spent the week. After coming off of such a wonderful weekend Monday hit me like a heavy weight boxer. I could feel it coming on last night but thought that I could sleep it away. Well mother nature brought in a heck of a thunderstorm last night. I was awakened by the storm sirens, thunder, lightning and this horrible person in my brain beating it with a hammer. I went ahead and went to work against my better judgement, did all that was asked of me and came home early. The sun was 100 times brighter than normal, people spoke louder than normal and my children talked more than normal. All while this giant beat on my frontal lobe.
I was so happy when I finally made it to my quiet bed and got in it with pajamas on at 5:05 PM, only to be awakened again by the guy with the hammer. So here I am 6 hours later, up...still with a headache but not as bad. I will be going to bed tonight fully medicated. I don't miss having migraines and I hope that this one doesn't create a new path for its relatives. This is my birthday week and I have to get to work so that I can enjoy my time off and weekend filled with family, friends, birthday cake and gifts. I can't let illness get me down. I will conquer this beast before the 15th. Plus. I have a volleyball game tomorrow. I have to be able to show them that last week was filled with butterflies. I come to play...
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Pain management
4. Understanding Boss (sometimes)
3. A better Tuesday
2. Volleyball
1. Migraine Medicine
I was so happy when I finally made it to my quiet bed and got in it with pajamas on at 5:05 PM, only to be awakened again by the guy with the hammer. So here I am 6 hours later, up...still with a headache but not as bad. I will be going to bed tonight fully medicated. I don't miss having migraines and I hope that this one doesn't create a new path for its relatives. This is my birthday week and I have to get to work so that I can enjoy my time off and weekend filled with family, friends, birthday cake and gifts. I can't let illness get me down. I will conquer this beast before the 15th. Plus. I have a volleyball game tomorrow. I have to be able to show them that last week was filled with butterflies. I come to play...
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Pain management
4. Understanding Boss (sometimes)
3. A better Tuesday
2. Volleyball
1. Migraine Medicine
Paying it Forward
This was an amazing weekend full of unexpected wonderfulness. I had quite a few encounters this weekend that made me start believing in humanity again. I was happy to see that there are still good, caring strangers in this world and I am one of them. I was able to bless someone and got it back 10 fold.
On Thursday, a close friend of mine was having a bad day. Just one of those days where you just don't care. We left work for lunch and made a pit stop at Walgreen's to kill some time and I bought her ice cream to try and brighten her day. When we got all the items that we wanted to purchase we headed to the check-out and in front of us stood a older lady. She was having some trouble trying to decide where all her money went. She was for sure that she had enough for her $61.36 purchase but there was a $20 bill that was missing. At first I was bothered because we just wanted to purchase our items and get out of there, but there was something about this lady that intrigued me. After calling the manager and another few minutes the infamous $20 finally appeared. Somehow, and we don't know how because we were standing there the entire time, the $20 had fallen behind the counter on the floor. It was in a place where it could have only gotten there if a gust of wind had came and pushed it there. We had looked all over for that money and the manager walked right up and found it. We looked at the cashier and at the lady and we were all astonished that it was there. She had not even removed her money from her purse. HOWEVER, she was still $1.36 short. I didn't turn any question. I went into my pocket book and gave her exact change to make her purchase. She was still questioning her money but decided to move on so that we could go. I felt pretty good about giving her the money, she seemed pretty appreciative. I was just about to give her the $21.36 until the money was found.
On Friday, my hubby and I decided to have a night out since we didn't have the kids. I had been given a gift card from my mother to a restaurant called, "The Porch." We were anxious to try something new and happy to just be together, so off we went. The weather was perfect, the atmosphere was great but the wait was horrible. We decided to stay, seeing that we didn't have anything else to do. DeMarco wasn't so impressed with the food. I thought that it was delectable. As I was eating my spare rib stroganoff the manager was at the table next to me preparing it for other patrons that were waiting. As he was transporting the dirty dishes to the kitchen he dropped a knife that hit me in the leg. There was no harm done, I wasn't bleeding clothes weren't ripped. I just picked it up off the ground and found a more secure place for it in his already full hands. He was extremely apologetic. I assured him that I was fine, nothing was hurt. I MEAN IT WAS A BUTTER KNIFE, how damaged could I get? Nevertheless, I continued enjoying every bite of my dish as my husband looked on in disgust, he was not happy with his brisket enchiladas at all. After our meal, the waitress approached with some dessert plates and then she said that the manager was so upset that he dropped the knife on you that he ordered you this butter cake on him. IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT I HAVE EVER PUT INTO MY MOUTH!! I was already full from dinner but I savored every bite of that cake. I swear it tasted like something that was meant to be delivered to God in heaven. All I could do was close my eyes with ever warm bite of cake wrapped in ice cream. It was a hair away from being orgasmic. I thought that was the nicest thing anyone had done for me. And I knew that he was sorry, he said it 100 times and to me that was enough. I plan to go back to The Porch real soon.
On Sunday, I missed church and felt bad about it but I knew there were some things that I needed to get done. The girls needed to get their hair washed and I was sick of seeing them in sneakers when it was almost 90 degrees out this week. So, I decided to pick them up from their grandmother a little early, run some errands and get a little shopping done. I always enjoy that time with my girls. Teaching them the fundamentals of shopping and finding bargains, and using coupons. Introducing to them the women's love for shoes is always a great idea. We left the shoe store and headed to pick up a prescription of mine. As we were perusing the aisles of the drug store an older gentleman was walking past us and searching through his wallet and not really paying attention. He dropped his credit card on the floor and kept on walking. Brooklyn and me noticed what he did and she picked it up and immediately alerted him to it. He was so grateful and offered to buy our purchase, including my prescription. I couldn't let him do that. All we did was return what was rightfully his.
All these events had me thinking of if I were a bad person. What if the situation was changed and it was me that needed the assistance or me that wished that someone had returned my credit card to me? Is it true that the good outweighs the bad in this world? There really are still people that have good humanitarianism in them and I was happy to say that I was one of them. I used this as a teaching experience to my daughters. Good things always happen to good people. Maybe not always when you want it to, but it will definitely be on time. I don't think that digested in them just yet , but I do know that when they get older it'll pay itself forward.
Thanks God for making $1.36 matter. It was a small amount to pay for a weekend of inspiration.
My 5 euphoric things:
5. Being able to make someones day a little bit brighter with ice cream
4. Butter cake from The Porch (gotta try it)
3. Teaching my daughters how to be good humanitarians
2. Helping others
1. Having the money to give
On Thursday, a close friend of mine was having a bad day. Just one of those days where you just don't care. We left work for lunch and made a pit stop at Walgreen's to kill some time and I bought her ice cream to try and brighten her day. When we got all the items that we wanted to purchase we headed to the check-out and in front of us stood a older lady. She was having some trouble trying to decide where all her money went. She was for sure that she had enough for her $61.36 purchase but there was a $20 bill that was missing. At first I was bothered because we just wanted to purchase our items and get out of there, but there was something about this lady that intrigued me. After calling the manager and another few minutes the infamous $20 finally appeared. Somehow, and we don't know how because we were standing there the entire time, the $20 had fallen behind the counter on the floor. It was in a place where it could have only gotten there if a gust of wind had came and pushed it there. We had looked all over for that money and the manager walked right up and found it. We looked at the cashier and at the lady and we were all astonished that it was there. She had not even removed her money from her purse. HOWEVER, she was still $1.36 short. I didn't turn any question. I went into my pocket book and gave her exact change to make her purchase. She was still questioning her money but decided to move on so that we could go. I felt pretty good about giving her the money, she seemed pretty appreciative. I was just about to give her the $21.36 until the money was found.
On Friday, my hubby and I decided to have a night out since we didn't have the kids. I had been given a gift card from my mother to a restaurant called, "The Porch." We were anxious to try something new and happy to just be together, so off we went. The weather was perfect, the atmosphere was great but the wait was horrible. We decided to stay, seeing that we didn't have anything else to do. DeMarco wasn't so impressed with the food. I thought that it was delectable. As I was eating my spare rib stroganoff the manager was at the table next to me preparing it for other patrons that were waiting. As he was transporting the dirty dishes to the kitchen he dropped a knife that hit me in the leg. There was no harm done, I wasn't bleeding clothes weren't ripped. I just picked it up off the ground and found a more secure place for it in his already full hands. He was extremely apologetic. I assured him that I was fine, nothing was hurt. I MEAN IT WAS A BUTTER KNIFE, how damaged could I get? Nevertheless, I continued enjoying every bite of my dish as my husband looked on in disgust, he was not happy with his brisket enchiladas at all. After our meal, the waitress approached with some dessert plates and then she said that the manager was so upset that he dropped the knife on you that he ordered you this butter cake on him. IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT I HAVE EVER PUT INTO MY MOUTH!! I was already full from dinner but I savored every bite of that cake. I swear it tasted like something that was meant to be delivered to God in heaven. All I could do was close my eyes with ever warm bite of cake wrapped in ice cream. It was a hair away from being orgasmic. I thought that was the nicest thing anyone had done for me. And I knew that he was sorry, he said it 100 times and to me that was enough. I plan to go back to The Porch real soon.
On Sunday, I missed church and felt bad about it but I knew there were some things that I needed to get done. The girls needed to get their hair washed and I was sick of seeing them in sneakers when it was almost 90 degrees out this week. So, I decided to pick them up from their grandmother a little early, run some errands and get a little shopping done. I always enjoy that time with my girls. Teaching them the fundamentals of shopping and finding bargains, and using coupons. Introducing to them the women's love for shoes is always a great idea. We left the shoe store and headed to pick up a prescription of mine. As we were perusing the aisles of the drug store an older gentleman was walking past us and searching through his wallet and not really paying attention. He dropped his credit card on the floor and kept on walking. Brooklyn and me noticed what he did and she picked it up and immediately alerted him to it. He was so grateful and offered to buy our purchase, including my prescription. I couldn't let him do that. All we did was return what was rightfully his.
All these events had me thinking of if I were a bad person. What if the situation was changed and it was me that needed the assistance or me that wished that someone had returned my credit card to me? Is it true that the good outweighs the bad in this world? There really are still people that have good humanitarianism in them and I was happy to say that I was one of them. I used this as a teaching experience to my daughters. Good things always happen to good people. Maybe not always when you want it to, but it will definitely be on time. I don't think that digested in them just yet , but I do know that when they get older it'll pay itself forward.
Thanks God for making $1.36 matter. It was a small amount to pay for a weekend of inspiration.
My 5 euphoric things:
5. Being able to make someones day a little bit brighter with ice cream
4. Butter cake from The Porch (gotta try it)
3. Teaching my daughters how to be good humanitarians
2. Helping others
1. Having the money to give
Friday, April 8, 2011
Taken for Granted
Today has been a up and down day, but I have stayed positive and the downs have been fewer and fewer. My Mom had a doctors appointment today about her heart. A few years back she had to have some stints implanted, but there were still 2 arteries that were too critical to stint, so the doctor keeps a close eye on those. She went to the doctor and now those 2 may be getting worst and so she took a stress test. Talk about a nervous wreck all day, that has been me. My mother has always been a major part of my life and to think of life without her is so hard to even fathom. I mean just thinking that there could be something wrong with her brings tears to my eyes. Shes defeated breast cancer, heart disease, and now it rears its ugly head again.
I know that there is a time to die for us all, but the date for my parents has to come AFTER mine. I would be an invalid if they left this earth. I would probably lose my job, need a diaper and a bib to exist in this world without them. Then I start to try to think that maybe I'll be ok, but then the tears come again and I KNOW that I won't be ok. These are people that have roots so deep in my heart that I would be drained of life without them. Even in my adult, married life they still take care of their baby girl. I don't take for granted the lives of my parents or any of my family for that matter because I know that tomorrow is not promised. Blogger family keep my Mom in your prayers. I need her here forever. And call, kiss or go by and see your Mom, I'm sure it'll make her day
On a high note, I am so excited that today is Friday. I am not letting anyone take my joy today because I know that God gave me at least one more day and that is all that I can ask for. My husband went to try to get Brooklyn enrolled in Pre-K and I was a little devastated when they said that it would only be half a day. DON'T THESE PEOPLE KNOW THAT I AM TRYING TO GET OUTTA MY DAYCARE BILL!!!! Geesh, this economy thing is killing me!! All I want in life is to be able to work a 40 hour week and still get paid for overtime, pay $1.12 for a gallon of gas (and I was reasoning with myself for that amount, I wanted to say $.99), and send my kid to Pre-K at the age of 4 not only for the advanced education but also to cancel out daycare cost. Is that too much to ask? I consider myself a woman of reason and understanding and I don't see a thing wrong with my list. Well, the 40 hour, overtime included is a bit much but hey, a girl can wish can't she?
My plan for the weekend was to go catch a comedy show at the Improv but that is looking a little out the question too now that I know all the tickets are sold out for tonight. I could go on Sunday, but that is my sabbath and I like to keep my schedule clear for that day. Plus, I need to get rested for the upcoming week. YEP, THATS RIGHT, MY BIRTHDAY IS EXACTLY 7 DAYS FROM TODAY!!!! Yaaaaay!!! Please feel free to inbox me if you need my address to send gift cards, gifts, money or just a card. I accept it all, gifts, paper money made of US currency and credit cards. Thanks in advanced. See you at the spa Friday Nay!!!
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Fridays
4. Lunch breaks
3. Ever Fresh Juice (any flavor)
2. Life
1. Another day with my Mommy (Love you Dee Dee)
I know that there is a time to die for us all, but the date for my parents has to come AFTER mine. I would be an invalid if they left this earth. I would probably lose my job, need a diaper and a bib to exist in this world without them. Then I start to try to think that maybe I'll be ok, but then the tears come again and I KNOW that I won't be ok. These are people that have roots so deep in my heart that I would be drained of life without them. Even in my adult, married life they still take care of their baby girl. I don't take for granted the lives of my parents or any of my family for that matter because I know that tomorrow is not promised. Blogger family keep my Mom in your prayers. I need her here forever. And call, kiss or go by and see your Mom, I'm sure it'll make her day
On a high note, I am so excited that today is Friday. I am not letting anyone take my joy today because I know that God gave me at least one more day and that is all that I can ask for. My husband went to try to get Brooklyn enrolled in Pre-K and I was a little devastated when they said that it would only be half a day. DON'T THESE PEOPLE KNOW THAT I AM TRYING TO GET OUTTA MY DAYCARE BILL!!!! Geesh, this economy thing is killing me!! All I want in life is to be able to work a 40 hour week and still get paid for overtime, pay $1.12 for a gallon of gas (and I was reasoning with myself for that amount, I wanted to say $.99), and send my kid to Pre-K at the age of 4 not only for the advanced education but also to cancel out daycare cost. Is that too much to ask? I consider myself a woman of reason and understanding and I don't see a thing wrong with my list. Well, the 40 hour, overtime included is a bit much but hey, a girl can wish can't she?
My plan for the weekend was to go catch a comedy show at the Improv but that is looking a little out the question too now that I know all the tickets are sold out for tonight. I could go on Sunday, but that is my sabbath and I like to keep my schedule clear for that day. Plus, I need to get rested for the upcoming week. YEP, THATS RIGHT, MY BIRTHDAY IS EXACTLY 7 DAYS FROM TODAY!!!! Yaaaaay!!! Please feel free to inbox me if you need my address to send gift cards, gifts, money or just a card. I accept it all, gifts, paper money made of US currency and credit cards. Thanks in advanced. See you at the spa Friday Nay!!!
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Fridays
4. Lunch breaks
3. Ever Fresh Juice (any flavor)
2. Life
1. Another day with my Mommy (Love you Dee Dee)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Net Masters
I have been trying to think of things that I can do to get back into shape and start making better decisions that I actually like. Soooooo, I joined a volleyball club and had my first game today. Oh Lord, I SUCKED SOMETHING SERIOUS!!! It was like my Nike's were gorilla glued to the gym floor. I mean, it has been a while since I have done ANYTHING even remotely as close as trying to be active in a sport but I knew that it would be the one sport that I could at least compete in....or so I thought. Well, it was 5 of us dressed in our team shirts and matching shorts, all knee padded up and thinking we playing for Team USA. Against a team of 3 Hispanic ladies that were dressed in jeans, halters, flip flops, work clothes, babies on their hips, breast feeding, you name it (a little sarcasm, but you get the picture.) and they were dishing out a beat down that we had no answer for. And when the entire team arrived we were mutilated. It was funny at first but then when I realized that Team Mexico couldn't even speak English I thought, "this is embarrassing".
But I can't say that I didn't try. In my head I was working hard. Had built up a little sweat, my back was hurting. But that was all from just stretching. When I stepped out on that floor and put my skills to the test, I HAD NONE! My, husband, the coach watched in aw was all he could do to keep from laughing me up out the gym. His only words of encouragement were, "you gotta move your feet." In my head I was all over the floor. I was the Lisa Leslie equivalent of the volleyball world. But to my amazement, I was really the Rose equivalent to Golden Girls, I just didn't get it. But never the less my team rallied around me and assured me that I would get better I just needed to get the cob webs out. But those weren't no webs, those were the 30's reminding me that I ain't 20 no more.
I plan to keep trying no matter how much my teammates keep giving me that, "It'll be ok" speech and then going into huddles to roast me (I just know it.). I'm going to see if my own personal coach will work with me along with my sister in law who played in the next game like a pro. I know that this is just the first step to getting close to almost looking 20 again. But at least I did the hard part...I took the first step. And I'll be back next Tuesday with vengence. And those Nike's will actually leave one spot and go after the ball and I won't just stand and watch the balls go past me. I want to show them that I am a competitor and I will. Starting next Tuesday just call me Volleying VA, cause that is where I'm spiking it to....wait a minute...then that'll be an out, right. Well, WHATEVER...in other words Imma be balling.
Stay tuned...
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Leaving work within the 5 o' clock hour
4. Taking a step in the right direction
3. GPS
2. Family fans
1. Volleyball
But I can't say that I didn't try. In my head I was working hard. Had built up a little sweat, my back was hurting. But that was all from just stretching. When I stepped out on that floor and put my skills to the test, I HAD NONE! My, husband, the coach watched in aw was all he could do to keep from laughing me up out the gym. His only words of encouragement were, "you gotta move your feet." In my head I was all over the floor. I was the Lisa Leslie equivalent of the volleyball world. But to my amazement, I was really the Rose equivalent to Golden Girls, I just didn't get it. But never the less my team rallied around me and assured me that I would get better I just needed to get the cob webs out. But those weren't no webs, those were the 30's reminding me that I ain't 20 no more.
I plan to keep trying no matter how much my teammates keep giving me that, "It'll be ok" speech and then going into huddles to roast me (I just know it.). I'm going to see if my own personal coach will work with me along with my sister in law who played in the next game like a pro. I know that this is just the first step to getting close to almost looking 20 again. But at least I did the hard part...I took the first step. And I'll be back next Tuesday with vengence. And those Nike's will actually leave one spot and go after the ball and I won't just stand and watch the balls go past me. I want to show them that I am a competitor and I will. Starting next Tuesday just call me Volleying VA, cause that is where I'm spiking it to....wait a minute...then that'll be an out, right. Well, WHATEVER...in other words Imma be balling.
Stay tuned...
My 5 Euphoric things:
5. Leaving work within the 5 o' clock hour
4. Taking a step in the right direction
3. GPS
2. Family fans
1. Volleyball
Monday, April 4, 2011
THE BIG COUNTDOWN!!!
THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN TO MY 32nd BIRTHDAY!!!
I am kind of excited, kind of not because in my head I am getting better, in the eyes of the world I am getting old. But I think that I am still looking and doing very well for a 32 year old woman. With some of the people that I see that are my age, I am doing fabulous. I am trying to have an agenda for my big day. The plan is to send my family off to work and school and head to the spa and then to get my hair done. Just a day of pampering myself. I think that I am past due for a "pamper me" day. Life has thrown so many fast balls my way that I tend to forget about me. I was trying to think of some other things that I can do as well. I have taken the day before and the day of my birthday off so I plan to spend that time wisely.
I have been trying to pick my husband to see what his plans are for me but he has been as stubborn as an ox. I know he is only going to call my friend Tange and pick her brain and she is going to walk around antagonizing me as if she has the cure for cancer in her pocket. God she makes me sick sometimes. I wish that I could actually do something for Marco. He has been such a good boy and he deserves something nice too. But that is my life, always putting others before myself.
I hope that life continues to be laid back like it is until it is time for the big weekend. I want to be fresh looking and exotic as possible. I was thinking of giving myself a birthday dinner and trying to get some of my married friends and family to go out on a night on the town. But with the people that I know we would definitely be in the club yawning and showing our age and outdatedness (if you will). Then I thought about doing something fun like going bowling or something that might require a little more relaxed uniform. All I know is this will all take place AFTER the spa treatment. If I can't get it in, I won't be upset. So if any of my followers have any suggestions, I am all ears.
I thank God for such a relaxed atmosphere that I am in right now. I hope it lasts for a while.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Being able to pay off some debt
4. My Job
3. Carmex (it makes my lips feel like new)
2. Waking up to rain
1. Making it through this Monday
I am kind of excited, kind of not because in my head I am getting better, in the eyes of the world I am getting old. But I think that I am still looking and doing very well for a 32 year old woman. With some of the people that I see that are my age, I am doing fabulous. I am trying to have an agenda for my big day. The plan is to send my family off to work and school and head to the spa and then to get my hair done. Just a day of pampering myself. I think that I am past due for a "pamper me" day. Life has thrown so many fast balls my way that I tend to forget about me. I was trying to think of some other things that I can do as well. I have taken the day before and the day of my birthday off so I plan to spend that time wisely.
I have been trying to pick my husband to see what his plans are for me but he has been as stubborn as an ox. I know he is only going to call my friend Tange and pick her brain and she is going to walk around antagonizing me as if she has the cure for cancer in her pocket. God she makes me sick sometimes. I wish that I could actually do something for Marco. He has been such a good boy and he deserves something nice too. But that is my life, always putting others before myself.
I hope that life continues to be laid back like it is until it is time for the big weekend. I want to be fresh looking and exotic as possible. I was thinking of giving myself a birthday dinner and trying to get some of my married friends and family to go out on a night on the town. But with the people that I know we would definitely be in the club yawning and showing our age and outdatedness (if you will). Then I thought about doing something fun like going bowling or something that might require a little more relaxed uniform. All I know is this will all take place AFTER the spa treatment. If I can't get it in, I won't be upset. So if any of my followers have any suggestions, I am all ears.
I thank God for such a relaxed atmosphere that I am in right now. I hope it lasts for a while.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Being able to pay off some debt
4. My Job
3. Carmex (it makes my lips feel like new)
2. Waking up to rain
1. Making it through this Monday
Sunday, April 3, 2011
"These 3"
Today I did the normal: Got up, went to Wal Mart and decided to go ahead and go to church. went to eat afterwards
It seemed like there was everything that was keeping me from going, Gabrielle had no stockings or socks, Brooklyn wasn't home and we had to go get her which meant we had to get her ready and another heard to comb. I just wasn't feeling it, but against all odds we made it anyways and that was a great accomplishment in itself. I was never so happy that I didn't miss this message. Rev. Wallace spoke about "These 3."
I Corinthians 13:
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I felt so close to this sermon because I know how I drift in and out of faith but that it is almopt impossible to have one without the other. I have always thought of myself as full of love. I love with my soul, I have unconditional love. I may not like you for a minute but once in my heart that is a place that you will remain forever. I thought about my past heartbreaks, old friends, loved ones that have gone on ahead of me...and I thought, "I still love these people." Well let me better explain...my past heartbreaks apparently did something that made me love them and mostly all of those relationships didn't end on horrible terms. I can still see those guys and we are like old friends. I would never want something to happen to anyone of them because my love for them was far more than that of a romantic level. I loved them for the persons that they were. I guess that rule can apply to some old friends as well. I still have love for them and I hope that the feeling is still mutual. Now those family members that I have lost over the years. I mean...though I don't see them on a regular basis anymore my love for them is endless. They still remain there in my heart as if they just took an extended vacation to some far away country that has no phones. Then while listening to the pastor build on his points I thought, "My love for my fellow man can't even compare to the love that God has for me." I mean I love with all of me, but would I be able to sacrifice one of my girls for a stranger? Gosh God that took some guts. When I look into the eyes of my children I hate to see them run fevers, much less than someone beating them, putting nails through their flesh and mutilating them in front of thousands. I would surely lose my religion at that point and start swinging some of these rods around here.
If God would allow my heart to love as much as he loves me, I think that Icould handle that. Thats what I strive for on a daily basis. I know that everyone won't receive me as I am, but I try not to take fault in people and do them the same way. My goal in life is to make sure that when this life is over I can enter one of the 12 gates that lead into heaven. I try to live my life as if heaven is only a day away. If the world felt like I did it would be a better place. But I am a person that is flawed and even though my heart is in the right place I am still made of flesh. With that being said I know that I can love, I plan to work on hope and faith. My faith gets shaky often but I carry around a mustard seed everywhere I go for those weak moments. My hope exists within my faith so I can actually kill 2 birds with one stone. I thank God for a break through. I thank him for taking me through this transition at a steady pace so that I don't get overwhelmed and I can better see the reasons for the future. Thank you God for my loving heart...now if I can just work on that faith and hope.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Waking me up this morning
4. Church
3. Another lightbulb moment
2. After church dinner with my family
1. My niece Kierra (and thanking God for our 16 years together, Happy Birthday baby)
The scripture says that the greatest of these 3 things is love, I guess I have won over half the battle...
It seemed like there was everything that was keeping me from going, Gabrielle had no stockings or socks, Brooklyn wasn't home and we had to go get her which meant we had to get her ready and another heard to comb. I just wasn't feeling it, but against all odds we made it anyways and that was a great accomplishment in itself. I was never so happy that I didn't miss this message. Rev. Wallace spoke about "These 3."
I Corinthians 13:
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I felt so close to this sermon because I know how I drift in and out of faith but that it is almopt impossible to have one without the other. I have always thought of myself as full of love. I love with my soul, I have unconditional love. I may not like you for a minute but once in my heart that is a place that you will remain forever. I thought about my past heartbreaks, old friends, loved ones that have gone on ahead of me...and I thought, "I still love these people." Well let me better explain...my past heartbreaks apparently did something that made me love them and mostly all of those relationships didn't end on horrible terms. I can still see those guys and we are like old friends. I would never want something to happen to anyone of them because my love for them was far more than that of a romantic level. I loved them for the persons that they were. I guess that rule can apply to some old friends as well. I still have love for them and I hope that the feeling is still mutual. Now those family members that I have lost over the years. I mean...though I don't see them on a regular basis anymore my love for them is endless. They still remain there in my heart as if they just took an extended vacation to some far away country that has no phones. Then while listening to the pastor build on his points I thought, "My love for my fellow man can't even compare to the love that God has for me." I mean I love with all of me, but would I be able to sacrifice one of my girls for a stranger? Gosh God that took some guts. When I look into the eyes of my children I hate to see them run fevers, much less than someone beating them, putting nails through their flesh and mutilating them in front of thousands. I would surely lose my religion at that point and start swinging some of these rods around here.
If God would allow my heart to love as much as he loves me, I think that Icould handle that. Thats what I strive for on a daily basis. I know that everyone won't receive me as I am, but I try not to take fault in people and do them the same way. My goal in life is to make sure that when this life is over I can enter one of the 12 gates that lead into heaven. I try to live my life as if heaven is only a day away. If the world felt like I did it would be a better place. But I am a person that is flawed and even though my heart is in the right place I am still made of flesh. With that being said I know that I can love, I plan to work on hope and faith. My faith gets shaky often but I carry around a mustard seed everywhere I go for those weak moments. My hope exists within my faith so I can actually kill 2 birds with one stone. I thank God for a break through. I thank him for taking me through this transition at a steady pace so that I don't get overwhelmed and I can better see the reasons for the future. Thank you God for my loving heart...now if I can just work on that faith and hope.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Waking me up this morning
4. Church
3. Another lightbulb moment
2. After church dinner with my family
1. My niece Kierra (and thanking God for our 16 years together, Happy Birthday baby)
The scripture says that the greatest of these 3 things is love, I guess I have won over half the battle...
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Busy...busy...busy Saturday
What a beautiful day it was today. Finally it seems that spring has finally sprung and it was definitely a beautiful day to be out and about and the world finally emerged from the winter. We had so much stuff that we needed to get done today. Brakes done, car registration, car inspection (which didn't happen), hair cut for the hubby, grooming for Gizmo (half of the K9 duo that includes Scout the Cocker Poo and Gizmo the shih tzu) paying bills and other all around Saturday morning activities. But believe it or not I enjoyed this time today with my better half.
To the world that doesn't know much about me and my better half: his name is DeMarco and he is a riot. I mean sometimes he is the next up and coming comedian and then other times he is as lame as the high school chess club president. But I love him and he puts up with me. As we drove down the roads today we had the regular arguments that married couples have like which roads to take and which is the best way to go and him wanting me to just shut up all together (not going to happen but he tries). I went to the barber shop with him today which is like a world in itself. Everyone that walks in the door is family. Some of those people I may have saw once or twice, didn't matter I was still treated as a weekly customer and got handled by a few of the employees but all in good fun. I actually like going to the barber shop with my husband because I know that is the one place in this world that is all apart of his element. The other part is his love for football. He eats, sleeps and... well if you know Dee then you know where this is going. But I love that about him. He is passionate about things that he loves. And he'll even fight me over that love. To me football is the other woman. She gets the best that he has to offer, all his time and effort and he dedicates all his waking hours to it, no matter what the outcome is from it he never turns his back on it. Football is his 80/20. If you replaced the word Virginia with football in his vocabulary I would be the 2011 Princess Diana. But that is what makes him, HIM and that is what I love about him. Even though he doesn't say it often he loves me ALMOST as much as he loves football. So that in itself is a great accomplishment. Truth be told, I am really a boy at heart so we mesh in some of the greatest ways because we share some of the same loves in life, football just happens to be one of them.
But those are some of the thoughts for my Saturday. My husband and myself had plenty to do and still found time to throw a couple of arguments in there as well. Marriage...you gotta love this stuff.
My 5 Euphoric things for today:
5. My prissy and well groomed pooches
4. Accomplishing some goals
3. Visiting the barber shop
2. Football
1. Spending time with my baby (I love being his wife most of the time, its almost like being married to D.L. Hughley)
Until tomorrow...
To the world that doesn't know much about me and my better half: his name is DeMarco and he is a riot. I mean sometimes he is the next up and coming comedian and then other times he is as lame as the high school chess club president. But I love him and he puts up with me. As we drove down the roads today we had the regular arguments that married couples have like which roads to take and which is the best way to go and him wanting me to just shut up all together (not going to happen but he tries). I went to the barber shop with him today which is like a world in itself. Everyone that walks in the door is family. Some of those people I may have saw once or twice, didn't matter I was still treated as a weekly customer and got handled by a few of the employees but all in good fun. I actually like going to the barber shop with my husband because I know that is the one place in this world that is all apart of his element. The other part is his love for football. He eats, sleeps and... well if you know Dee then you know where this is going. But I love that about him. He is passionate about things that he loves. And he'll even fight me over that love. To me football is the other woman. She gets the best that he has to offer, all his time and effort and he dedicates all his waking hours to it, no matter what the outcome is from it he never turns his back on it. Football is his 80/20. If you replaced the word Virginia with football in his vocabulary I would be the 2011 Princess Diana. But that is what makes him, HIM and that is what I love about him. Even though he doesn't say it often he loves me ALMOST as much as he loves football. So that in itself is a great accomplishment. Truth be told, I am really a boy at heart so we mesh in some of the greatest ways because we share some of the same loves in life, football just happens to be one of them.
But those are some of the thoughts for my Saturday. My husband and myself had plenty to do and still found time to throw a couple of arguments in there as well. Marriage...you gotta love this stuff.
My 5 Euphoric things for today:
5. My prissy and well groomed pooches
4. Accomplishing some goals
3. Visiting the barber shop
2. Football
1. Spending time with my baby (I love being his wife most of the time, its almost like being married to D.L. Hughley)
Until tomorrow...
Friday, April 1, 2011
Doing My Part...
My job requires me to help as many people in my community with the need for medical assistance for their children as well as assistance with food. I am a caseworker and I actually love my job. I get to see some people from all walks of life. Some deserving and some not but they all tell a different story. I try not to judge them as they come but sometimes the human in me peeks through.
Sometimes we have to work the front desk with the clerks and that is where all the action happens. That's where you get to see clients with fresh eyes and sometimes its heartbreaking and other times it just upsetting. And then sometimes its just the way that you approach to them, if you have an attitude their going to throw on a coat of armor but if you greet them with kindness they usually give it in return.
Today I saw a young man that was barely 20 years old. Never had a job and doesn't have a permanent place to live. I know that some of these people that come here are pulling our legs but for some reason this young man touched me. I thought how can you be 20, never worked,. no intentions of continuing your education and for some reason no one will let you live with them until you can get yourself together? What have you done in your few years that has the world turning their back on you? It was obvious that he has something going on. His clothes were torn and filthy, his skin was visually dirty, he was frail and he needed a haircut. I thought of myself, what if I never worked, if I never even tried? Would my parents have let me stay? Or would they have tried the tough love? What would I do if that was one of my girls? Would I keep letting them stay or release them to this treacherous world? Even if that were to happen I would like to think that I have some family that would take them in, dust them off and help them to reach their potential. He looked as though no one had ever encouraged him. Was it drugs, what is it about this kid that got me thinking so much? I don't know, and I try not to take work home with me but sometimes I have to tell it to someone.
Sometimes I sit and work and try to think of things that I could do to help some of the people that I see. Then I think, I ain't in the best of situations to try to help someone else but there has to be a better way for these people. You have got to want better for yourself and definitely for the children. If Gabby or Brooklyn didn't try at life and just gave up I guess I would do what all GOOD parents do and keep pushing them and doing whatever it takes to get them to know that if you don't try this world will eat you whole. It was obvious that the ways of the world had eaten away the soul of this young man and he was a shell just watching the world pass him by. The only thing I can do for this kid is pray for him right now and ask God to make me a vessel to be able to better help people just like him that I see daily.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Being able to help others
4.Supportive family
3. My parents not giving up on me
2. Knowing that failure is not an option
1. BLOGGING (so therapeutic)
Sometimes we have to work the front desk with the clerks and that is where all the action happens. That's where you get to see clients with fresh eyes and sometimes its heartbreaking and other times it just upsetting. And then sometimes its just the way that you approach to them, if you have an attitude their going to throw on a coat of armor but if you greet them with kindness they usually give it in return.
Today I saw a young man that was barely 20 years old. Never had a job and doesn't have a permanent place to live. I know that some of these people that come here are pulling our legs but for some reason this young man touched me. I thought how can you be 20, never worked,. no intentions of continuing your education and for some reason no one will let you live with them until you can get yourself together? What have you done in your few years that has the world turning their back on you? It was obvious that he has something going on. His clothes were torn and filthy, his skin was visually dirty, he was frail and he needed a haircut. I thought of myself, what if I never worked, if I never even tried? Would my parents have let me stay? Or would they have tried the tough love? What would I do if that was one of my girls? Would I keep letting them stay or release them to this treacherous world? Even if that were to happen I would like to think that I have some family that would take them in, dust them off and help them to reach their potential. He looked as though no one had ever encouraged him. Was it drugs, what is it about this kid that got me thinking so much? I don't know, and I try not to take work home with me but sometimes I have to tell it to someone.
Sometimes I sit and work and try to think of things that I could do to help some of the people that I see. Then I think, I ain't in the best of situations to try to help someone else but there has to be a better way for these people. You have got to want better for yourself and definitely for the children. If Gabby or Brooklyn didn't try at life and just gave up I guess I would do what all GOOD parents do and keep pushing them and doing whatever it takes to get them to know that if you don't try this world will eat you whole. It was obvious that the ways of the world had eaten away the soul of this young man and he was a shell just watching the world pass him by. The only thing I can do for this kid is pray for him right now and ask God to make me a vessel to be able to better help people just like him that I see daily.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Being able to help others
4.Supportive family
3. My parents not giving up on me
2. Knowing that failure is not an option
1. BLOGGING (so therapeutic)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
The Power of Music
Hi Guys, here I sit at my desk during my lunch hour engulfed in my greatest escape...my music. Today I chose to tune my Pandora dial to Kelly Price radio station and what a great decision that was. Its a mixture of a little gospel and some of the best R&B that has even been released.
I am a HUGE Kelly Price fan. She is so deep and her voice is like a thick, rich chocolate. Like the kind that they dip the strawberries in. Her voice sounds like all those words that she sang she actually went through. Have you ever heard a song and the instruments and the voice and all the sound affects intertwined so well that all you could do was close your eyes and feel it in your soul? That is how I am with Kelly. When I hear and oldie but goodie I take myself back to that time and remember what I was doing when I was so in love with the song. Whether it was good or bad, and I can recollect exactly how I felt at that moment.
When Kelly released her first album I remember being infatuated with her because she had such a wonderful voice and yet she sung back up all those years behind Mariah Carey. But she knew that her weight played a major roll in that. And then when she opened her mouth and the hurt and pain that she had experienced spilled out into the universe I was a fan for life. I too was a little overweight at the time and it seemed as though love just didn't love me. I would listen to her night and day and be entertained and angry and then determined and so on. I went through a truck load of emotions with Kelly so in my stalker mind she and I had SOOO MUCH IN COMMON. Now that I look back at those times I was not stable. But yet I still love the music.
I like taking myself on those roller coaster ride memories and seeing where I have come from emotionally. I like remembering in college dancing to the club lights came on, driving down the street belting out my favorite tune as if I had written it myself and either crying or laughing as I remember exactly what I was going through or what had happened when a particular song was released. Days like this I feel sorry for people that suffer from amnesia. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my memories to remind me that I have come a long way. So thanks Kelly for getting me through some rough patches. I am a fan for life.
My Top 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Cold oranges for breakfast
4. Friday Eve's (my favorite day of the week)
3. Light work load
2. Dressing down
1. The sound of music
I am a HUGE Kelly Price fan. She is so deep and her voice is like a thick, rich chocolate. Like the kind that they dip the strawberries in. Her voice sounds like all those words that she sang she actually went through. Have you ever heard a song and the instruments and the voice and all the sound affects intertwined so well that all you could do was close your eyes and feel it in your soul? That is how I am with Kelly. When I hear and oldie but goodie I take myself back to that time and remember what I was doing when I was so in love with the song. Whether it was good or bad, and I can recollect exactly how I felt at that moment.
When Kelly released her first album I remember being infatuated with her because she had such a wonderful voice and yet she sung back up all those years behind Mariah Carey. But she knew that her weight played a major roll in that. And then when she opened her mouth and the hurt and pain that she had experienced spilled out into the universe I was a fan for life. I too was a little overweight at the time and it seemed as though love just didn't love me. I would listen to her night and day and be entertained and angry and then determined and so on. I went through a truck load of emotions with Kelly so in my stalker mind she and I had SOOO MUCH IN COMMON. Now that I look back at those times I was not stable. But yet I still love the music.
I like taking myself on those roller coaster ride memories and seeing where I have come from emotionally. I like remembering in college dancing to the club lights came on, driving down the street belting out my favorite tune as if I had written it myself and either crying or laughing as I remember exactly what I was going through or what had happened when a particular song was released. Days like this I feel sorry for people that suffer from amnesia. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my memories to remind me that I have come a long way. So thanks Kelly for getting me through some rough patches. I am a fan for life.
My Top 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Cold oranges for breakfast
4. Friday Eve's (my favorite day of the week)
3. Light work load
2. Dressing down
1. The sound of music
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
On the Search...
March 30, 2010
Now that I have started this blog I am constantly going through my day searching for a new topic but when my fingers hit the keys the topics come....or not.
For the past few weeks I have been pondering the meaning of "FRIENDS" and what the job requires. In my life I have never made friends easily because I think that I am the ultimate friend. I think that all friends should be like me because this is what I bring to the table:
I'm Loyal
Good listener
Protective
Loving
Open
Blunt
...and sympathetic (when needed)
I have found that when entering new friendships they are way different than the ones that I have been having for years, and then some of those friendships have fallen off too. I think that the cause is this prayer that I prayed, "Lord please remove the people from my life that are not going to have a positive impact in the end." And since uttering those words I have been going through "friends" left and right. I was thinking that maybe it was me that is difficult to be around. I can see that being a reason, but why? I love unconditionally, I'm not petty and I'm a pretty good team player, or so I thought. But what can you do? In a way I just feel that it is God answering another prayer as well as getting out the things that really don't matter anymore. But truth be told, some of those people I really did care for. But believe it or not, now that we aren't as close anymore I don't miss them as much as I thought I would. God is so awesome! Guess I just answered my own quizzical thoughts. But I do hope that he replaces them with more people...or is he saving me for himself....hmmm....another light bulb just went off.
Well to all the 2 friends that I call my own, we'll always be together, I'll always be here, and if we start to divide just know that you were a part of God's seperation project that he has going on with me right now.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Lunch breaks
4. Cooking for my parents
3. Spring
2. Assisting the public
1. Tangelina (my BFF, always and forever, I know she won't make the cut. She'll protest)
Now that I have started this blog I am constantly going through my day searching for a new topic but when my fingers hit the keys the topics come....or not.
For the past few weeks I have been pondering the meaning of "FRIENDS" and what the job requires. In my life I have never made friends easily because I think that I am the ultimate friend. I think that all friends should be like me because this is what I bring to the table:
I'm Loyal
Good listener
Protective
Loving
Open
Blunt
...and sympathetic (when needed)
I have found that when entering new friendships they are way different than the ones that I have been having for years, and then some of those friendships have fallen off too. I think that the cause is this prayer that I prayed, "Lord please remove the people from my life that are not going to have a positive impact in the end." And since uttering those words I have been going through "friends" left and right. I was thinking that maybe it was me that is difficult to be around. I can see that being a reason, but why? I love unconditionally, I'm not petty and I'm a pretty good team player, or so I thought. But what can you do? In a way I just feel that it is God answering another prayer as well as getting out the things that really don't matter anymore. But truth be told, some of those people I really did care for. But believe it or not, now that we aren't as close anymore I don't miss them as much as I thought I would. God is so awesome! Guess I just answered my own quizzical thoughts. But I do hope that he replaces them with more people...or is he saving me for himself....hmmm....another light bulb just went off.
Well to all the 2 friends that I call my own, we'll always be together, I'll always be here, and if we start to divide just know that you were a part of God's seperation project that he has going on with me right now.
My 5 Euphoric things today:
5. Lunch breaks
4. Cooking for my parents
3. Spring
2. Assisting the public
1. Tangelina (my BFF, always and forever, I know she won't make the cut. She'll protest)
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Beginning of Change
March 28, 2011
HELLO WORLD!!! I finally fell to my sisters idea of me starting a blog. I thought it was obsurd for me to let the world in on my comedic, ignorant, depressing banter but I thought that the ending result may have been the counseling that I needed. I named my blog, "Euphoric Expectations." Why? Well the dictionary definition of euphoric is:
eu·pho·ria (yo̵̅o̅ fôr′ē ə)
As my sister knows this life for me has had some very bumpy roads in my short 31 years. Diagnosis of Lupus at 26, unemployment, loss of my home this year and just depression from it all. She is definitely the angel that stands watch over me. She was the one that kept my spirits up when times were just horrific. But I am taking her lead and putting the past behind me. No more depression, no more pain and disappointment only surrounding myself with "Euphoric Expectations!" God has brought me through a lot and though I am not out the valley yet I see the mountains ahead of me. We are a family of 4 living with my parents and I think that things just can't get any worst. But the future looks euphoric. We are starting a new life and things are looking up.
Thanks Renay for showing me a new sense of euphoria, that the opposite of bad is good and that even though the future looks obselete a mustard seed can make all the difference. I now have the faith. I can now hear his voice and it tells me that things are gonna get better. God places people in our life for a reason, and if given a hundred chances I would still need more numbers to tell you why he placed you in mine. Though the recent past has brought about a change I cling to the things that God taught me through you. So in honor of you I will also find euphoria in the 5 daily things that make life wonderful to me.
5 things I'm greatful for:
5. Giving me Lavett Renay Washington
4. Lupus, for entering my life to witness the reason behind the pain and the ability to accept it and roll with the punches
3. Gabrielle & Brooklyn (my daughters)
2. Being able to blog
1. The mustard seed
This first blog is dedicated to you Renay. Thank you for showing me parts of life that I didn't think I would have without you. Thanks for showing me how to free my mind and train my ear to God's voice. I love you EUPHORICALLY!
***tears***
HELLO WORLD!!! I finally fell to my sisters idea of me starting a blog. I thought it was obsurd for me to let the world in on my comedic, ignorant, depressing banter but I thought that the ending result may have been the counseling that I needed. I named my blog, "Euphoric Expectations." Why? Well the dictionary definition of euphoric is:
eu·pho·ria (yo̵̅o̅ fôr′ē ə)
noun
a feeling of vigor, well-being, or high spirits
As my sister knows this life for me has had some very bumpy roads in my short 31 years. Diagnosis of Lupus at 26, unemployment, loss of my home this year and just depression from it all. She is definitely the angel that stands watch over me. She was the one that kept my spirits up when times were just horrific. But I am taking her lead and putting the past behind me. No more depression, no more pain and disappointment only surrounding myself with "Euphoric Expectations!" God has brought me through a lot and though I am not out the valley yet I see the mountains ahead of me. We are a family of 4 living with my parents and I think that things just can't get any worst. But the future looks euphoric. We are starting a new life and things are looking up.
Thanks Renay for showing me a new sense of euphoria, that the opposite of bad is good and that even though the future looks obselete a mustard seed can make all the difference. I now have the faith. I can now hear his voice and it tells me that things are gonna get better. God places people in our life for a reason, and if given a hundred chances I would still need more numbers to tell you why he placed you in mine. Though the recent past has brought about a change I cling to the things that God taught me through you. So in honor of you I will also find euphoria in the 5 daily things that make life wonderful to me.
5 things I'm greatful for:
5. Giving me Lavett Renay Washington
4. Lupus, for entering my life to witness the reason behind the pain and the ability to accept it and roll with the punches
3. Gabrielle & Brooklyn (my daughters)
2. Being able to blog
1. The mustard seed
This first blog is dedicated to you Renay. Thank you for showing me parts of life that I didn't think I would have without you. Thanks for showing me how to free my mind and train my ear to God's voice. I love you EUPHORICALLY!
***tears***
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